[Chorus]
Tony's got a botfly in his forehead
Jenny's got a guinea worm in her shoe
Dave's got leeches, Mike's got flu
Everybody's got a parasite, I've got you

[Verse 1]
First date: we thought it was great
We drank and we ate, we stayed up real late
Next week we hit our peak
Making the bedsprings creak

[Pre-Chorus]
And now, one month later

[Chorus]
Tony's got a botfly in his forehead
Jenny's got a guinea worm in her shoe
Dave's got leeches, Mike's got flu
Everybody's got a parasite, I've got you

[Verse 2]
I guess that's what I get
For being a jerk instead of cooling my jets
You were a wolf in a sheep's skin
Playing for keeps and I lost
[Pre-Chorus]
And now, twenty years later

[Chorus]
Tony's got a botfly in his forehead
Jenny's got a guinea worm in her shoe
Dave's got leeches, Mike's got flu
Everybody's got a parasite, I've got you

[Bridge]
I've got you, I've got you
Somebody tell me what to do
Should I try a bit of vinegar, has someone got an antidote?
Band-aids, cyanide, hydrogen peroxide
Rum and coke if nothing else will do
Everybody's got a parasite, I've got you

[Chorus]
Tony's got a botfly in his forehead
Jenny's got a guinea worm in her shoe
Dave's got leeches, Mike's got flu
Everybody's got a parasite, I've got you