Canadian Softball
United We Skramz
[Spoken Intro: Donald J. Trump]
"Look at the way I've been treated lately. Especially by the media. No politician in history has been treated worse or more unfairly."

[Verse 1]
I’m suffocating in blatant lies
A witch hunt that seeks my demise
The media keeps on bullying
And those liberal shills are being really mean
I’ll still campaign even though I won
So what if I want to have some fun?
Who would’ve known this job was so hard?
Nobody could’ve known it would be this hard

[Verse 2]
Obstruction of justice
Those nut jobs keep saying I’m corrupted
Investigating me for no reason
So what if I dabbled in treason?
Surrounded by fire
Burning at the stake, thanks to these liars
My approval ratings are the best in history
I also got really good grades in history, sad!

[Chorus]
JFK, shot in the head
Then his wife was drenched in red
James Garfield, shot twice
Died slowly from infection, lost his life
Abe Lincoln, also shot in the head
Freed all the slaves, but now he’s super dead
Literally every politician ever killed
Had never felt the pain that I’ve had to feel
[Bridge]
They keep talking about my hands
My hands are perfectly normal
If anything, they’re larger than most hands
I’m really good at handshakes too

[Verse 3]
This nightmare, it never ends
Nobody understands how hard it is
I’ve been treated unfairly
It’s pretty obvious that Americans love me
I’ve got it hard, my life is hard
Looking at my daughter makes me somewhat hard
It’s not that weird, I’m not a perv
I’m just admiring what I brought into this world

[Outro]
How about that ass though, am I right?

[Spoken Outro: Donald J. Trump]
"Grab them by the pussy."