Asher Roth
Hot97 Funkmaster Flex (Freestyle)
[Intro]
I think it's that time man
Like you said, we're partying man
This is your show but, I just wanted to come in
Show some love, you know what I mean?

[Verse 1]
Welcome to the show folks, I'm glad you can join us
For all these slow-pokes and slow learners
I'll tone it down, they ain't ready for my sound yet
But funkin' round, they funked around and found it
I'll put it down, leave the whole town astounded
Rhymes stay stout, no doubt, well-rounded
Fest the plump, call me Professor Clump
The best is yet to come so let's tell 'em where I'm from
Um, Morrisville 'bout thirty minutes north
Of the first exit saying next to Philadelphia
And for the health of ya, use all your stealth
Or you catch a healthy helping of some brotherly love
Don't you dare, this is where we declared independence
Let's not forget all our friends out in Trenton
Not far from where G. Wash crossed
Home of Ben Franklin and Rasheed Wallace
Rip it like a Piston on a Ducati Engine
If you in it, then you in it
If you splitting, get it stepping
This unfinished business with me and the record
Fifteen minutes of me funk flexing
Yes! Throw away your weapons
Didn't Virginia's Tech tech teach you a lesson
Check (check), what the heck? Where's ya head been?
It's Ash Roth with the change in a segment
[Interlude]
Change it up Flex, Change it up Flex
What's next? What's next? Change it up Flex
What's this? What do we got here?
Oh shooooo-
This is it, this is the jam right here
Little Redman
Anyone rhyme on this before?

[Verse 2]
It might be the summer heat, got me thinking differently
But, it seems to me that I seem to frequently (uh)
Freak a beat, see I'm freakish lyrically
Sneaking on the scenery, no more swearing secrecy (nuh-uh)
Beat sneakers keep creeping through the streets
Keep keeping on, keep thinking I can leave
But, I'm knee deep, got that feeling when I breath
Every breath, every step, I can see it in my dreams
Even though I don't sleep, third song this week
I am haunted by demonic ambiances usually
Yeah I think they call it fear, he's strong, you're weak
Well I whispered in the ear, you're wrong, I'm free
Cause there's no wrong way to word a perfect verbalist
It's hard to come across, mother F-ers done it all
Nothing left to touch upon, yeah I might just touch a star
Puffing on a stuffed cigar, huffing just to rust my thoughts
Rust my thoughts, me and Flex going off of thought
Going off of tough, yeah this is rough
Not rider like DMX but dang, what is next?
This is live, we ain't taking off but I'm vexed
Piece to it, peace to New York and everybody into it
Might move here cause I stay fluent
They show me love on the streets, I was sitting on the streets
When three kids came up to me and said "peace" and asked for an autograph
They was like, "You is Ash? You're the kid that did I Love College"
I laughed and I said "man, there's so much more to it than this"
And if you don't get it by now that I spit, then split!
So back to it now, I represent
Nah this is what I do when I repent
But I never do, I come into it like full force
This is Fort Knox in Flex's building, fort box
And if you don't get it, you'll see the video
Yeah I get video hoes, kick 'em out of my party yo
Because we only rock with 8s that get down and stay late
And they drink blunts, but who drinks blunts? Only I do
And that's what I do when I come through, and get sick from the flu
But it was food poisoning from Noboo
I had red snapper, yeah Asher Roth is a rapper
But f it, I don't really give a ish
I don't mean to curse but I do just a little bit
Yeah I'm not perfect, I brush my teeth too hard
Then my gums bleed, yeah I don't mean no bars
But these bars got 'em locked down, chip it on pop down
I don't give a F, I'm not New York like the lox now
But I still keep it on lock down
Now I'm in Flex putting it off on the top now
So off the top, this is how it goes
This ain't a miracle, no spiritual lyrical thing
That's like elementary rhyming to me
But please, that's what I do when I have to speak a free
Freedom of speech, the first amendment what it is
I amend it, the second amendment
And get them kids out of the streets
Cus we gotta teach 'em education
They wasting them times and they gotta be patient though
Cus mother nature takes the same pace, we taking it
Ran in the amazing race, the amazing race
But we in survivor mode, this is like an NBC show
I can't believe it yo, I gotta pass go
Collect a couple dollars, and then set up a place on Park Place
Now I'm amazing, I got this look on my face
They're like, "Damn he's crazy, I can't believe what he be doing"
A college kid and he straight screwing up the industry
Tell 'em you don't have to be street to be a G
And that don't mean a G, I mean a G-E-N-T-entleman
That's kind of an Andre 3000 thing
But I don't care, I still like it so I take it
And I put it in a freestyle, I never bite it
I just bit a sandwich the other day cus I liked it
It was good, had avocado in the middle
Got my fatty-asses and you know it, mega threes
But this be a free so please
I'm just having fun, see my teeth?
I'm smiling, you can't believe this can you?
Tom-boy be wild and Brain-bang behind him
Got my man Funk Flex on two's wilding
Out scratch it up, take it back to the ninety's
We be rhyming all day dog, look behind me
There's a- There's a camera right there
And I will stare for five seconds and check my hair
I'm cool, and even if you thought it was a wig, I'm good
I'm Zach Morris spitting on it, cat goring litting on it
Yeah, ha, what what it is?
Flip the beat up a bit, nah this is it
This is spit, I don't know we got all day
I be on the air for awhile this is hey
Hey how you doing? What's up?
Chill for a little bit
Check my sideburns and my little beard stubble
Stubble, Barney Rubble little look alike
But I don't care, Fred Flintstone roll it up right
Put it in a J, and I don't mean to talk about that smoke all the time
Cus you know that these kids listen to every rhyme we talk about
So I need to talk about more stuff like not talking about knocking em out
Talk about build em up
[Verse 3]
Build em up!
So, I swear to god what it is! What it is!
Ash from the east, Philly rep-represent
But we just took that beat off and slid it to the right
This another Nas joint, make 'em look all night
When I walk into the room, Tiger Woods what you doing?
Shook his head said, "Nice putt last year dude"
I think you lost this year to a dude who didn't know what he was doing
On a far par four-park fork course, hit the par ohh.. Fore!
Yeah that's what I do when I tell em to watch out for who?
Asher Roth, white kid from the truth
The truth, what I do when I'm in the booth
But I'm not there right now, I'm in front of the Hot97
Mike Jackson, rest in peace in heaven, we miss you already
And it's only been 3 hours and I don't know if the news is ready for it
I think you in a coma from cardiac arrest
But still I wish my best, you left a leg-
Acy, please, my legs is going out from under me
But I never stop like I was Donavan McNabb
From the line of scrimmage in the last SuperBowl
Terrell Owens was waving on 'em, but who cares ?
That's a Philly word if you don't know it from New York
But who cares? Pop the cork let's celebrate dog, put it in the air
But this is how we do it
And I don't care if I don't have a rapper voice that you used to
Truth dude, I be in the booth and I'm chilling all day sipping ?
New boo? What? Who knew?
I don't know, I'm just sipping on a Miller Lite
And I'm chilling here, I'm not tryna fight
Nah, I'm tryna be alright, lean back with my boat shoes on
Truth dog, I don't give a F which you on
You on something that I'm not on
And all I'm tryna do is get my swerve on
Or my swag on, whatever Soulja Boy talking 'bout
But truth be told, Asher Roth knocked 'em out
[Outro]
Made you look
I made you look, Flex!
I made you look