[Verse 1]
Here in my van
I can beat my small cock
Fart on your face
Sleep on a loaf
Here in my van
I can piss in a cup
Do what I want
Scrounge for some change
I can lose

[Verse 2]
Here in my van
I can eat my small squid
Dance the can-can
With my feet in the air
Here in my can
I can play the Last tape
Play my small uke
Write stupid songs
Like this one?
Yeah, yeah like this one

[Bridge]
Haven't slept in days, but that's okay
Gonna let 'er eat
Cat pizza road apples coffee shun Vivarin
Have a little snack
Put in a quarter and play road rally
Driving down the dark corridor
Fall asleep and wake up
In another place
[Verse 3]
Here in my van
I can beat my small cock
Fart on your face
Sleep on a loaf
Here in my can
I can piss in a cup
Scrounge for some change
Do what I want
I can lose

[Guitar Solo]

[Verse 4]
Here in my van
I can hate everyone
Wait for no girls to call me in the middle of the night
Here in my van
I can lose my small mind
Lose my small mind