Niall James Holohan
Fear
Blow it out your arse if you like to laugh at the wounded
Hiding behind the bedroom door I found in frightened faith
On my knees begging “a chance, give me a chance man”
Trying to convince light on my sheets to dance a pace

Hang, skip, dance for me
Make me feel at home
But nothing of this puppet show
Stopped me from feeling alone

I heard abrasions as a boy
Dust tapering down through funeral light was all I could see
But these things, what are they?
Have they been sent here to torment me
When I get Alzheimer’s in my old age?

Remember me
A memory

This is maybe why I cry surprised
And lie and breathe and whisper “Who’s there?”
I tried to learn better how to cup my ears completely
But fear will insist on being heard

And so I went numb, absolutely nothing
But OK
It’s OK
As my two guardians play out the scene
And I climb out the window with a knife in my teeth

I havn’t seen the sky in a year and I’ll bet it’s changed colour
I creep beyond the the hinges and peek outside
I steal a few steps
And breathe a few breaths
And then I find the feet I can’t deny

I open up to life
I open up to wonder
A golden glow that's everlasting and clear
“This is love” I say “I know this”
"This is love, you can't outgrow this"
Now where’s the beast they call fear?