He's a sharp dresser, father confessor
To every honky tonk queen
He's a big spender
A no interest lender
For the local bar scene

He's a hero, he's a hero
He's a zero to the outside world
He's a hero, he's a hero
But he strikes out with every girl
In the outside world

He's a sweet talker, marathon walker
For any friend that's far away
He's a long drinker, very deep thinker
As long as it ain't by day

He's a hero, he's a hero
He's a zero to the outside world
He's a hero, he's a hero
But he strikes out with every girl
In the outside world

He sleeps all day, creeps all night
From the midnight hour on
He's a mighty might
He's a hero, he's a hero
He's a zero to the outside world
He's a hero, he's a hero
But he strikes out with every girl
In the outside world

He's a father confessor
To every honky tonk queen
He's the high priest of nothin'
If you know what I mean

He's a hero, he's a hero
He's a zero to the outside world
He's a hero, he's a hero
But he strikes out with every girl
In the outside world