That's sickly clean, this mild and meek
I could launch it with a poker, no danger for a weekend
It opens its mouth, there's no words, just a squeak
I could launch it with a poker - no joker - for a weekday

Bing-bong, the weekday
Bing-bong, no danger
Here goes a sweet freak

How many fools d'you get in a school
In an English country classroom?
All the things goin' on inside your billbong
There's no room, it's just pure art room

Y'try very hard to get that right
To imitate some kind of lifeform
A matter of fact, without any tact
You can go on back, you shouldn't have been born

Bing-bong, no danger
Bing-bong, the sweet freak

Drugger mother, switch on the cooker
Get the hillbillies down, set out to bugger
Sweet freak, pen and ink and
How d'you make a bulldog think?
Happy Christmas I said, not to speak then
Happy Christmas, when's it, next week then?
And you swear, you naughty meathead
What sleeps in your bed has got to be the geek [ted?]

Bing-bong, the weekday
Bing-bong, no danger

How many fools d'you get in a school
In an English country classroom?
All the things goin' on inside your billbong
There's no room, it's just pure art room

Sweet freak, pen and ink
How d'you get this blind dog to think?
Sweet freak, pen and ink
It's dangerous to let the freaky dink in
Chop 'er up, cook 'er, give me some smother
I can't stand the thought of the dwarf bein' a mother
Is this love, man? It's pure hate
If you put it on the table it'll be too late
Is this love, man? No, it's pure hate
It can't be more simple, it's there on a plate
Is this love, man? No, it's hate
Is this love, man? No, it's pure hate
Is this love, man?