Laurie Anderson
Stiff Neck
A while ago, I had this stiff neck. I couldn’t get it out of this one position. So I went to a doctor and he said: “I’m afraid this is no stiff neck. I think we’re going to have to operate right away”. I couldn’t believe it so I went to a few specialists and they all said the same thing: “We’ll have to operate immediately”. So I finally decided to have the operation and right before, the doctor asks: “Oh, by the way, what kind of insurance do you have?”. And I said: “I don’t have any insurance”. And he said: “Y’know, maybe we can wait on this”. By this time I was sure I need to have the operation so I went to one last guy and the first thing I said when I walked into his office was: “Look. I have no money and no insurance”. And he said: “Show me where it hurts”. And I said: “Well, it kinda starts in my neck here, and in goes into this shoulder and them it crumples up this elbow and kinda runs down my arm, and crumples up the fingers in this hand. And it kind it goes to my other arm too”. And he said: “Exactly what is it that you do for a living?”