Well, my freshman year had an awesome R.A
I had the best R.A. in the world
I wish you was with me all my 4 years
His name is Arnold Baldwin, we had this R.A. Arnold Baldwin
He's this big tall skinny black guy and he talked exactly like Chris Rock
We loved him because he didn't give a crap about us, he didn't care
He's like
"I'm your R.A.! Resident Assistant. Resident Assistant!
I'm not the resident councilor, I'm not the resident mother
I don't need to know everything
"Your friends throwing up in the bathroom, I don't need to know
Everybody throws up, he's lucky he made it to the bathroom
Just give him a Tic Tac and a pillow and leave him alone
Leave him alone!
"I don't need to know, your suite mate is smokin' crack
I dont need to know
Just tell him to exhale through a empty toilet paper roll
Stuffed with dryer sheets
Make it smell like the mountain spring freshness of crack
I don't need to know
"I don't need to know if you gotta 40 ounce beer ball keg
Playing beer pong, flip cup, century club got some zoomy zoomy going on
I don't need to know 'cause I don't care
Your girlfriend broke up with you, I don't care
Your roommate is a pain on the ass, I don't care
You made a booty call 4 in the morning and she got a friend
I care, remember me!"