Frank Zappa
Dickie’s Such An Asshole [Halloween 73- late show]
One 'n one is eleven!
Two 'n two is twenty-two!
Won't somebody kindly tell me
What the government's tryin' t' do . .
Dickie's just too tricky
For a chump like me to use
Well, you'd take that sub-committee serious, boy
You might get a seizure from the evenin' news

Well
Millions 'n millions of dollars . .
Much as he might need . .
He could open up a chain of motels, people
On the highway, yes indeed!
Quadrophonic desperation!
You know, there'd be a cable all under your bed
Well, if you just might break some wind in your slumber
The FBI is gonna get your number

GONNA GET YA
GONNA GET YA
GONNA JUMP UP THE SUB-COMMITTEE AND GET YA!

Gonna get your number
The FBI
Gonna get your number
The FBI
Gonna get your number
The FBI
Gonna get your number
The FBI
Done got your number
The FBI
Done got your number
The FBI
Gonna get your number
The FBI
Gonna get your number
Gonna get your number
Gonna get your number
You know, I'm tryin' not to worry
Oh, I'm tryin' not to care
But you know, I get delighted
When some microphone's not there
Can't get no private conversations
Nowhere, nowhere
In the USA
Can't wait 'til the rest of the people all over the world
Find out that their government
Is just the same ol' way . .

I wanna tell you something right now
I wanna tell you something right here
I wanna tell you about the man up there
I wanna tell you about the man over there
The man in Washington
The man in San Clemente
The man over here
The man down there
I'm talking about Tricky
Tricky
Dickie
Tricky
Tricky
Talkin' 'bout Bebe
Talkin' 'bout Billy
Talkin' 'bout Bebe
Billy
Agnew
Tricky
Everybody that you ever put your trust in before
What you gonna do right now? You gotta look around and say, "Hey!"
What happened?
I put my X on that line
I put my X in that square for you, you said you're gonna do this
You said you're gonna do that
You promised me this
Promised me that
Promised me then
Told me when
Said how
Said when
Let me hear you say Tricky
Tricky (Tricky)
Tricky (Tricky)
Let me hear you say Tricky . .
Let me hear you say Tricky . .
Let me hear you say Dickie . .
Tricky (Tricky)
Dickie (Dickie)
Tricky (Tricky)
Dickie (Dickie)
Tricky (Tricky)
Dickie (Dickie)
Tricky (Tricky)
Dickie
Trick
Dick
I want to tell you something about Tricky Dickie. He cheated! And he lied!

Cheated on you
Cheated on me
Cheated on them
Cheated on everybody all over the world

I'm gonna tell you something else about Dickie. He's gonna keep on cheating and lying

Wait a minute . .
How long we got here?
Three more years
One year to cheat
One year to lie
One year to scheme
One year to run around and say, "It wasn't me"
Another year to run around and say, "It was him"
Another year to burn up tapes
Another year to edit some tapes
Tricky Dickie's been cheating
Lying, yeah . .

They cheated
They lied
They told me that they were gonna help me
They cheated
You know they lied
They said they wanted my number

Let me tell you just one more thing
What we gonna do from here?
What we gonna do next time?
What we gonna do when elections come along?
What we gonna do about Tricky?
What we gonna do about Dickie?
Are they going to impeach him?
Are they going to let him go?
Do we have to live with this?
Do we have to die with this?
Are we gonna die for it?
Are we gonna live for it?
What are we gonna do?
Let me hear you say Yeah!
Yeah!
Come on now, let me hear you say Tricky

Dickie eats shit

Wait a minute . .
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah (He eats it)
Yeah (He eats it)
Yeah (He eats it)
Yeah (He eats it)
Wait a minute . .

Wait a minute, let's go on with the song already . .

Oh . .
All them big shots got all the money
Switzerland and everywhere
They're strictly from commercial
And if you find out they don't care
Oh Lord, Oh Lord
Oh Lord, Oh Lord
Oh Lord, Oh Lord
Oh Lord, Oh Lord
Oh Lord, Oh Lord
Oh Lord, Oh Lord
Oh Lord, Oh Lord
Oh Lord
Please don't make no reservation
In the GOP for me
Just take that San Clemente Magnetic Deviation
And make it say No Vacancy

My favorite part of the song and it goes like this . .

DICKIE'S SUCH AN ASSHOLE
We mean it, Dick
We mean it, Bebe
We mean it, Billy
All you guys, stuff it!
Wee-ooo

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much