Frank Zappa
Help I’m A Rock/Transylvania Boogie [Road Tapes, Venue #1]
FZ:

Help, I'm a rock!
Help, I'm a rock!
Help, I'm a rock!
Help, I'm a rock!

Oh, it's a drag being a rock
I wish I was anything but a rock
I'd even like to be a policeman

Help, I'm a cop!
Help, I'm a cop!
Help, I'm a cop!
Help, I'm a cop!

You know, as a matter of fact it's a drag being a cop
I think I'd rather be the mayor
And offer the hippies ten dollars to cut their hair

Ten dollars to any hippie who'll cut his hair right here on stage tonight. Do we have any desperate hippies who wanna take it off?

Well, that's good. You just keep growing your hair till it gets down to your buns. Just don't try to get a job with IBM or one of the state agencies with long hair because they just don't go for it. It's unsanitary, it's unclean, it means that you probably have leftist tendencies. It means that you're probably a whole bunch of things that the establishment doesn't want you to be. It means that you're a potential danger to every old person in your country. Boy, you better watch out if you have long hair

Help, I'm a hair
Help, I'm a hair
Help, I'm a hair
Help, I'm a hair
Help, I'm a . .