[Intro: Edina Monsoon]
"Lights! Models! Guestlist! Just do your best, darling."

[Chorus: Neil Tennant]
Absolutely fabulous
We're absolutely fabulous

[Verse 1: Edina Monsoon, Patsy Stone]
"Darling..."
"Mmm?"
"...you are a fabulous, wonderful individual..."
"Oh, thank you, darling."
"...and remember, I've known you longer than your daughter."
"Champers all right for you, Pats?"
"Lovely, Sweetie."
"Shall we finish off the beluga or shall we have some smoked salmon and nibbly things?"
"Oh, whatever, Sweetie."
"All right, we'll finish off the beluga."
"Dull, soulless dance music."
"Bip-bip-bip, bop-bop-bop."
"Dull, soulless dance music."
"Ride on time, ride on time. Techno, techno, bloody techno, darling!"

[Chorus: Neil Tennant, Edina Monsoon, Patsy Stone]
Absolutely fabulous
("That's fabulous, darling.")
We're absolutely fabulous
("That's fabulous.")
("Good.")
[Verse 2: Edina Monsoon]
"Chanel, Dior, Lagerfeld, Givenchy, Gaultier, darling. Names, names, names! Harper's, Tatler, English Vogue, American Vogue, French Vogue, bloody Aby-bloody-ssinian bloody Vogue, darling!"

[Pre-Chorus: Edina Monsoon]
"Lacroix, Sweetie, Lacroix."
"Lacroix, Sweetie, Lacroix."
"Sweetie! Sweetie! Sweetie! Sweetie!"

[Chorus: Neil Tennant, Edina Monsoon]
Absolutely fabulous
("Pump up the volume!")
We're absolutely fabulous
("Just put the needle on the record")
Absolutely fabulous
("Pump up the volume!")
We're absolutely fabulous
("Are you ready for this, Sweetie?")

[Bridge: Edina Monsson]
"Ong, plong, kerplinky, plong."
"Ong, plong, kerplinky, plong."
"Ong, plong, kerplinky, plong."
"I'm chanting as we speak, bye, bye, darling."
"Ong, plong, kerplinky, plong."
"Ong, plong, kerplinky, plong."
"Ong, plong, kerplinky, plong."
" Sweetie! Sweetie! Sweetie! Sweetie!"
"Ong, plong, kerplinky, plong."
"Ong, plong, kerplinky, plong."
"Ong, plong, kerplinky, plong."
"I'm chanting as we speak, bye, bye, darling."
"Ong, plong, kerplinky, plong."
"Ong, plong, kerplinky, plong."
"Ong, plong, kerplinky, plong."
"Champers all right for you, Pats?"
[Pre-Chorus: Edina Monsoon, Patsy Stone]
"Oh, he was just a windscreen washer I picked up at the traffic lights. Bum so tight he was bouncing off the walls."
"Bye, Pats."
"Lacroix, Sweetie."
"Lacroix, Sweetie."
"Lacroix, Sweetie."
"La-La-La-Lacroix."

[Chorus: Neil Tennant, Edina Monsoon, Patsy Stone]
Absolutely fabulous
("Let the music lift you up, darling!")
We're absolutely fabulous
("Dull, soulless dance music.")
Absolutely fabulous
("It's the bloody Pet Shop Boys, Sweetie.")
We're absolutely fabulous
("Are you ready for this, Sweetie?")

[Outro: Edina Monsoon, Patsy Stone]
"Ong, plong, kerplinky, plong."
"Ong, plong, kerplinky, plong."
"Ong, plong, kerplinky, plong."
"I'm chanting as we speak, bye, bye, darling."
"Ong, plong, kerplinky, plong."
"Ong, plong, kerplinky, plong."
"Ong, plong, kerplinky, plong."
" Sweetie! Sweetie! Sweetie! Sweetie!"
"It's fabulous."
"Good. Thank you."