[MARY]
Don't like you
Don't like you
I
Don't think I like
You're bad
You're sad
And I know nicer boys

[JOHN]
Not bothered
Not bothered
I simply am not bothered
You're vain
A total pain
And I know sweeter girls

You been hanging 'round my door and watching me at school

[MARY]
Yes, and I was thinking you're completely uncool

[JOHN]
Well, I wouldn't say yourself was much to shout about

[MARY]
Do your fly up, sonny, 'cos your brain's hanging out
[JOHN]
You're gagging for a date, I know you're dying to meet

[MARY]
I don't think while there's still a dog left out on the street

[BOTH]
That's fine by me
I don't like you

[MARY]
Don't need you
Don't want you
I can live without you
I swear
I just don't care
Because I know nicer boys

[JOHN]
Don't like you
Don't need you
I don't care about you
You see
You're not for me
I like lots of other girls
[MARY]
You bug me, and you're ugly, and your jokes are a bore
Your efforts at coherent conversation are poor
The lights are clearly on, but then there's nobody home

[JOHN]
In that case, why the hell d'you call me up on the phone?

[MARY]
I never flippin' did sure - it was you who called me

[JOHN]
Well, what the hell - this is one thing that we agree

[BOTH]
I'm damn sure
I don't like you

(Instrumental break)

[JOHN]
Don't hate you
Could stand you
If pushed
Could tolerate you
[MARY]
I'm sure
That you'll mature
I have known more stupid boys

You say it

[JOHN]
No, you say it

[MARY]
All right
I vaguely like you
It's bad
I must be mad
But I think we could be friends

[JOHN]
No commitment
Only friends

[MARY]
I like you

[JOHN]
I like you

[BOTH]
Yes
I think I like you
It's real
It's how I feel
And I want
To be your...

[MARY]
Would you mind not pressing that thing against me?