National Lampoon
Colorado (John Denver Parody)
Stuck in this old city now where living ain't no fun
Where steel and glass and concrete cancel out the wind and sun
And I'm thinking of last winter now when we walked in hand in hand
On the trails of the Colorado Rockies

The wind sang us a lullaby, the snow was thick as cream
And icicles were chandeliers like crystals in a dream
And the streams were strips of
Diamonds, and the hills were white as snow
And a bear ate all our soybeans in the night

Oh, Colorado's calling me
From her hillsides, to her canyons, to her rivers and her trees
When blizzards snap the power lines, and all the toilets freeze
It's December in the Colorado Rockies

We had time and space and freedom, we had love and peace to spare
Though we ran out of things to smoke, and say and eat and wear
On the morning of the avalanche, the Yeti kidnapped Blanche
And took her to his cave up in the Rockies

Oh, Colorado's calling me (John Belushi yells from the audience "Hey You!)
From her hillsides, to her canyons, to her mesas and ravines
And infectious hepatitis was all that came to stay
In the winter in the Colorado Rockies
The baby didn't die until we burned off all our wood
Considering we ate her raw, she tasted pretty good
Then the fascist health inspectors dug us out and mailed us home
Except for Blanche, who wouldn't leave her mate

Oh, Colorado's calling me
From her hillsides, to her canyons, to her rivers and her trees
They tell me I'll be cured soon, but I'm ready to return
Where it's April in the Colorado Rockies