[Verse 1]
He, in a shopping mall, finally met the perfect girl
She is all that matters
The only one in all the world, like a Barbie doll
Oh, love is snakes and ladders
Snakes and ladders

[Verse 2]
She, just to have and hold, is the perfect air-brushed angel
Makes you hot just looking at her
Stapled into all his braincells like a centerfold
Oh, love is snakes and ladders
Snakes and ladders

[Chorus]
Get to the top and slide back down
Get to the bottom, climb back up
Buy the townhouse, call the preacher
Get to the bottom, climb back up
Get to the top and slide back down
Get to the bottom, climb back up
Set up credit for the lovely creature
The lovely creature

[Verse 3]
He, on a corporate climb, set his sights on power for her
On a silver platter
He gave up happy hour for her, Perrier and lime
Oh, love is snakes and ladders
Snakes and ladders
[Verse 4]
She, in a handsome world, put her mind to social graces
All the privileged chatter setting pretty table places
For the girls in pearls
Oh, love is snakes and ladders
Snakes and ladders

[Chorus]
Get to the top and slide back down
Get to the bottom, climb back up
Buy the car phone, call the broker
Get to the bottom, climb back up
Get to the top and slide back down
Get to the bottom, climb back up
Buy the wife a diamond choker
A diamond choker

[Bridge]
True love, true love, true love
He's so nervous
New love, new love, new love
When he's with her
Oh, he's wasting away
True love, true love, true love
It's so curious
New love, new love, new love
Just to kiss her
To kiss her, to kiss her, to kiss her
To kiss her, to kiss her, to kiss her
To kiss her he has to shave
[Verse 5]
She, in the gilded mirrors, in the swing of fancy places
Where the black ties flatter
Started seeing other faces, young fogey financiers
Oh, love is snakes and ladders
Snakes and ladders

[Verse 6]
See in the crimes of time how the seasons steal away
How the rungs are shattered
First you're green, then you're grey, still the snakes unwind
Still playing snakes and ladders
Snakes and ladders

[Chorus]
Get to the top and slide back down
Get to the bottom, climb back up
Sell the vineyard, call the lawyer
Get to the bottom, climb back up
Get to the top and slide back down
Get to the bottom, climb back up
Gather garbage to destroy her
To destroy her

[Outro]
Ladders, ladders, ladders
The perfect girl
Ladders, ladders, ladders
The paper chase
Love is snakes and ladders
Ladders, ladders, ladders
The social whirl
Ladders, ladders
The rat race
Barbie doll