JT Music
Torbjorn Vs Engineer Rap Battle
[Intro: JT Music, Engineer, Torbjörn]
Ash fills the air among spirals of smoke
Hammers smash anvils, the fire is stoked
Masters of craftsmanship shall clash
Excuse me, can do away with the dramatic intro?
Aye! Let's get into the action
Hope you're ready, bucko

[Verse 1: Engineer, Torbjörn]
Go ahead and build 'em up, you're still a short stack
At four foot seven, ha, I kind of adore that (Aw!)
No wonder I have trouble trying to find where Torb's at
Tolkien just called, he'd like his dwarf back (Argh!)
You have a degree, how did you forge that?
I've got eleven from attack to support, fact
Better rev up that old Molten Core, stat
And get your burn on, because you only store fat (Ha!)
Wanna be a viking? You've gotta be taller
Stop selling your weapons, you're makin' omnics stronger (Whoops)
Then you got lazy when you stopped making armor
But I'll give you an olive branch if I can talk to your daughter (Howdy)
You ought to upgrade, let me give you a hand
Otherwise you won't have a leg on which you can stand
I'll call you Long John Silver, it's a pleasure captain
But only treasure you'll get is what I been scrappin'
[Verse 2: Torbjörn]
(Argh) Keep your scrap, 'cause I don't need your scrap
My Turret's ready! (Don't ask where I was keepin' that)
I'm a walking furnace, turn up the heat to max
Shed your tears, Engineer, I believe you're sapped
Congratulations on your education, this Texan's potential hasn't been wasted (Duh!)
'Til we face off, then he'll walk on fresh coals
That'll be a warm-up for when his feet get cold (Ha-ha!)
See I don't need a triple-decker sentry defense
You let your turret do the work, I'll be hammerin' heads
At any distance, I'm fit for any positioning
I've written your obituary and it is riveting (Yeah, right)
You know, for such a burly guy, you're sure not the get your hands dirty type
You just sit back, relax, and observe the fight
Here's a professional courtesy, diversify (Ooh)

[Verse 3: Engineer]
You got a bad case of Napoleon Syndrome
But at least Mr. Bonaparte knew how to win some (How?)
Diversification is my certification, teleporters and health dispensers? I can make 'em
Now whip out your tennis launcher, we're playin' hard ball
You're an easy target when you're wider than you are tall
It won't only be your toes that I'm steppin' on
I know you're Swedish, but I still think you're a leprechaun

[Verse 4: Torbjörn]
Call me what you want, I might as well be mythical
With my unmatched skills in crafting at their pinnacle
Like Tony Stark, just vertically challenged
You're redneck trash, nothing for me to salvage
You think a single turrets all I've amounted?
I have outfitted armies, the numbers are countless
It's how I built my legacy, my name is reputed
Now I'll bludgeon your face, and I aim to improve it
If my crew can't find health, they don't deserve it
I'm a full blown DPS, and I've earned it
I'm a sure shot, and not just a marksman
I've got seven daughters, keep your eyes off them
I drop the gavel, and my enemies scatter
Ain't the size of the man, but his hammer that matters
I could outlast you on health and armor alone
Hold up a second, Brigitte's calling my phone
[Interlude: Torbjörn, Engineer]
Hello darling
No, you're not going out with a boy I haven't met!
What do you mean I know him?
You're lookin' at him
*scream*

[Verse 5: Enginner, Torbjörn]
Calm down you old war profiteer
Don't wanna make Thanksgiving awkward this year (I'll kill you!)
Listen Toblerone, don't you overload
You wanna keep your head when you step in the rodeo
'Cause you're as good as dead unless Reinhardt's with ya'
But I can promise, I'll be real nice to Brigitte
That's a molten roast, you wanna give me some Hell?
Why don't we let our handiwork speak for itself?

[Verse 6: Torbjörn's Turret]
Turret activated with my verse deployed
By the time you set up your Sentry, you'll see your work destroyed
Within an instant, I'm ready
Even at a distance, I'm deadly
My ammunition is endless, so your attrition is steady
When I'm on the payload, I'll effectively defend it
If my builder's on a kill-streak, give me the credit
This is Swedish engineering from an expert designer
Don't American sentries get sent over from China?
[Verse 7: Engineer's Sentry Gun]
I'm a homegrown machine, see the guns I'm toting
You don't begin to compare to me, you're a one-trick pony
Stupid little peashooter, look, I'm launchin' rockets
If you see me getting upgrades, you'll wanna stop it
Throw a wrench in my plans, and I'll just improve
Plus I'm easy to relocate, always on the move
Back to the drawing board, Torb, with these blueprints
'Cause whatever wasn't broken, you don't need to fix