[Verse 1: Scout]
Got your head spinnin' runnin' circles around ya
With a baseball bat that I'm usin' to pound ya
I'll be up in your face in the blink of an eye
No, I don't got wings, but I don't need them to fly
With a couple double jumps, I'll be fleein' the zone
Pick up your intel quick, then I'm bringin' it home
I'm a pretty big deal, that's the honest truth
I mean, do you even know who you're talking to?

[Verse 2: Soldier]
About face, maggots! Stand at attention
Learn from a soldier who's reached perfection
Forward charge with my RPG
Helmet so low, I can hardly see!
Bam! Rocket jumpin' all over the place
Finish you punks with a shovel to the face
If that don't kill you, it'll break your nose
I hope you weasels are taking notes!

[Verse 3: Pyro]
Welcome to my magical candy land
Where smiles are from ear to ear
And everyone loves each other
Come and spread the cheer
[Chorus]
This rap is kind of overdue (Right?)
But now it's time to meet the crew (Tight!)
The crazy dudes of TF2
So take a side, RED or BLU
After I pick my class
I'm gonna kick your ass
'Cause that's what we were born to do

[Verse 4: Engineer]
Let's set up shop and get to work
I built a health dispenser if you've been hurt
Plus I got plenty of sentry defenses
But do not touch, 'cause this stuff's expensive
Auto-aim rockets oughta wreck you bumpkins
And just in case I need it—self destruction
Step back 'fore I whack you with a wrench
And when my turrets spot you
You're as good as dead

[Verse 5: Heavy]
Cry some more, run while you can
You little babies don't stand a chance
They call me Heavy, this is my gun
When she starts spinning, you better run!
I do not require brains or technique
I've got so much muscle, I'll never be beat
I'll mow you down wherever you stand, bitch!
Now I am hungry, give me sandvich
Okay, I'm good
[Verse 6: Demoman]
Are you a bleeding idiot? (Aye!)
To fight with a drunken Scot?
I'll down a swig of whiskey
For every grenade I launch
Wherever I go, the explosions follow
So keep your distance, lads
And I carry traditional weapons
I'll bloody you up with an axe

[Chorus]
This rap is kind of overdue (Right?)
But now it's time to meet the crew (Tight!)
The crazy dudes of TF2
So take a side, RED or BLU
Pick out my favorite class
Check out my fancy hats
I just don't know which one to choose

[Verse 7: Medic]
I'm ze Medic, zo don't go far
You might vant a tazte of my ubercharge
Still a doctor, but I lost my license
Zis could be a problem—Shaz ˘iza!
I'm alvays ready vith a bloody bone saw
But I can't help much if your head is blown off
Die, Schweinhund, I vill vin zis
Don't overdose on my syringes!
[Verse 8: Sniper]
Boom! That's another headshot, bloke
I'm a professional, you're a joke
I mean, please mate, show some respect
At least the way I'm doin' it
You'll get a quick death
I'm from the outback, where things get hectic
Got a big machete that I'll slice your head with
Aussie assassins aren't very common
But when you hear this—keep on runnin'

[Verse 9: Spy]
You probably know me for my disguise
And I dress as sharp as all my knives
Just when you think I'm on your team
Au revoir, mon chéri
I'm a very accomplished back stabber
Who destroys your equipment with my sapper
Gentlemen, there's a spy in our midst
And he's got plenty of ass to kick

[Chorus]
This rap is kind of overdue (Right?)
But now it's time to meet the crew (Tight!)
The crazy dudes of TF2 (Woo!)
So take a side, RED or BLU
After I pick my class
I'm gonna kick your ass
'Cause that's what we were born to do