Fascinating Aida
It Isn’t Too Late To Be Famous
(Dillie: sung)
I’m going out in a see-through dress and underwear by Prada
Get myself snapped at the latest club in a very provocative pose
A very provocative pose
And if I’m not in the papers tomorrow, next night I’ll try harder
Dance on the bar with Mickey Rourke wearing even fewer clothes
Even fewer clothes...

Ohhh it...
Isn’t too late, it isn’t too late, it isn’t too late to be famous
So many people vying for space, you’ve really got to be shameless
Stumble out into the night, show the world me cellulite
Always smiley, just like Kylie, I’m gonna be famous!

(Liza: spoken)
Hello! Thank you, thank you, I am sorry that I’m late everyone
I’ve just jetted in from Marrakech where I’ve been having the latest Ayurvedic treatment;
I’ve been sucking the life source out of a small Indian child
I feel much better...

(Liza: sung)
I’m hanging with the next generation, Kelly and Pixie and Peaches
Double voddies at Bungalow 8 with James and Elizabeth Jagger
James and Elizabeth Jagger
Snorting up and dropping some K with a double of City leeches
Photographed by a pap from Nuts, perfecting my drunken swagger
Perfecting my drunken swagger...
Ohhh it...
Isn’t too late, it isn’t too late, it isn’t too late to be famous
Bugger the fact I’ve got nothing to offer cos I’m an ignoramus
Show me tits, show me crack, ask if Paris has got any smack
Drink a gallon with Lilly Allen coz I’m gonna be famous!

(Dillie and Liza: sung)
Oh, fame is in our charts, we’re ready to sell our souls
They’ve photographed our parts, they’ve photographed our holes
We’re aiming to be rich and stand ut from the flock
(Liza: spoken)
Scratch your eyes out, bitch!
(Dillie: spoken)
There’s a new kid on the block...

(Adele: spoken)
Hello, hello, hello!
What a busy day I’ve had; Interviews, photoshoots, personal appearances!
That’s coz I’ve just launched my new perfume
I’ve given it a real nom de zeitgeist – it’s called Banque!
That’s French for bank. Topical! Witty!
I called it that cos it smells of money...

(Adele: sung)
I’m on a role, I’m on a role: evicted from Big Brother
Getting me own reality show where I find a bloke to marry
I find a bloke to marry
Pictured in Heat going commando, drunk in town with me mother
Hanging out at Bouji’s because we both wanna shag Prince Harry
Determined to shag Prince Harry...
Ohhh it...
Isn’t too late, it isn’t too late, it isn’t too late to be famous
Max Clifford has taken me on, that’s what real acclaim is
Show me scars, show me tattoos, show me collapsed in the public loos
News Of The World, you made it girl! I’m gonna be famous!

(All: sung)
Ohhh it...
Isn’t too late, it isn’t too late, it isn’t too late to be famous
Having a roast with Callum Best and both of the Proclaimers
See us here, see us there, see us bloody everywhere
(Liza)
Check into a clinic, don’t be a cynic
(Adele)
It’s mental being famous!

(All; sung)
Ohhh it
Isn’t too late, it isn’t too late, it isn’t too late to be famous
We wanna be like Posh and Colleen, can you really blame us
It’s a blast, it’s a breeze, dealing with Mephistopheles
Join the fray, seize the day
(Liza)
Hold the pose, up yer nose
(Adele)
Quaff Krystal with a transient pal
(Dillie)
Back of a limo, flash me quim, oh
(All)
We’re gonna be, we’re gonna be
We’re gonna be, we’re gonna be
We’re gonna be, we’re gonna be
We’re gonna be, we’re gonna be
(Liza: spoken)
What do you mean I’m not on the bloody list?

(Adele: spoken)
Don’t you know who I am?

(Dillie: spoken)
KERRY! CAN YOU GET ME IN?

(All: sung)
Famous!