The Boondocks
Return of the King
Episode opens with the quotes:I want young men and young women who are not alive today… to know and see that these new privileges and opportunities did not come without somebody suffering and sacrificing for them.    -Dr. Martin Luther King JuniorWhatever, n***a.    -Anonymous


HUEY [Narrating]: Martin Luther King Junior was shot in Memphis, Tennessee on April 4th, 1968.

[Scene of shooting]

He was critically injured. Dr King fell into a coma; the world waited for news of his fate. There were no riots. Time passed; King faded into memory. There was no national holiday. Then on October 27 2000, thirty-two years after he was shot, Martin Luther King Junior came back.
King amazed the world when on November 2nd, seven days after awaking from a thirty year coma, he showed up to vote in a presidential election. He was turned away due to voting irregularities. People turned to the streets to celebrate the return of their king.

[Scene of King in the streets]

BLACK MAN WITH DU-RAG: Oh shit, my n***a MLK! Haha, hey whats up folks? Hey, that got a dream shit was off the chain, n***a!

KING: Oh-ok... thank you very much.

[Sound of gun shot, bullet hole in Martin Luther King road sign]

HUEY: He learned that streets named after him weren’t the very safest.

[Scene switches between scenes of King at a press conference and newspaper headlines while Huey narrates]

HUEY: King inked a seven figure deal to write his autobiography called Dream Deferred. Columbia pictures green lit a one hundred million dollar bio pic of Dr. King staring Cuba Gooding Junior. Oliver Stone was attached to direct, Spike Lee was pissed.

[Scene of King at MTV Video Music Awards]
HUEY: King mania was at a fever pitch when on August 1st, 20001 Martin Luther King presented Video Of The Year with Puffy at the MTV video music awards.

PERSON IN CROWD: I love you MLK!

KING: Well you know, Puffy, like you I can’t stop. I won’t stop. I don’t eeeeeven know how to stop.

[Cheering]

PUFFY [Whispering]: That’s right...

KING: And now the nominees for video of the year…

HUEY: King was released the week of September 21 2001. One week after 9/11.

[Shot of empty movie theatre]

HUEY: Then on October 15th, on an appearance on Politically Incorrect, King shocked the country.

[Scene of King on a talk show]

TALK SHOW HOST: Dr King, ok, you’re an advocate of nonviolence, but guess what? How do you think the United States should respond to the terror attacks of 9/11?

KING: Well, as a Christian, we are taught that you should love thy enemy and if attacked, you should turn the other cheek.

[silence and stares]
KING: What...?

HUEY: America was outraged.

[White House Press Conference]

PRESS SECRETARY: The president was very concerned by some comments made by some “ex” civil rights leaders. And those people in question should, uh watch their goddamn fucking mouths.

[Channel 3 News]

TV HOST: Of course an Al-Qaeda lover like Martin Luther King wants us to just roll over and let the terrorists win, because he hates America. My suggestion, hehe, go take another 30 year nap, commie bastard.

HUEY: In December 2001, CNN named Martin Luther King one of the ten most unpatriotic Americans. His book was canned. His house was vandalized.

[Scene of King walking down a street]

PASSERSBY: Jack off! Asshole!

HUEY: King renamed his book, Dream Deterred and it was finally released by a small publisher. It was called “unimpressive” by the Woodcrest Post-Gazette.

[King at book signing]

KING: [coughs] ooo-ok now, now who am I making this out to?

HUEY: Huey Freeman.
[Robert walks in the door, talking to himself]

ROBERT: Son of a bitch tried to take my parking spot! I should have whooped his ass!

KING: Robert Freeman?

ROBERT: Dr, Martin Luther King Junior!

KING: I never thought I’d see you again.

ROBERT: How you been?

KING: Well, I was shot and had a bit of a coma for a few decades…

ROBERT: Yeah I heard, I sent you a card did you get it?

KING: Well... I don’t remember...

ROBERT: Oh, you’d remember this one: it was a get well card ‘specially for people who got shot and I thought, “This would be perfect for Martin Luther King.” But didn’t sell ‘em separately - I had to buy the whole pack. You know, I been thinking about starting my own greeting card line. Hey, you should come over for dinner; I live right down the road.

KING: Well, I believe I’m supposed to be signing books for a couple of more hours.

[Cricket sound and shot of empty store]

BOOKSTORE EMPLOYEE: Dude, just go.

[New scene outside]

ROBERT: Where they got you staying?

KING: I’m staying at a Holiday Inn Express - I feel smarter already.

ROBERT: Oh that’s nonsense.

[Ruckus approaches and throws a brick]

RUCKUS: Yeah boy! Cotton baboon! Stand still, you goddamn chunky cheek monkey!

ROBERT: Ruckus, what the hell is wrong with you?

RUCKUS: Don’t interfere, Robert, this here’s between me and Martin Luther so called King. Only king I know is Elvis, God rest his soul. Oh, oh you don’t remember me? Well I been throwing bricks at your marching ass since 1959.

[Flashback to scene of King giving a speech]

KING: Oh brothers and sisters, you know I...

RUCKUS: Oh shut the hell up, you black son of a bitch! What’s wrong with ya’ll?

[Carrying a sign that says, “I Love Jim Crow”]

Thank god for the white man’s infinite mercy, Martin Luther Kong, cause if it was up to me, I’d unleashed hounds and turned ya’ll n***as into puppy chow. I was happy at the back of the bus

[throws brick]

PERSON IN CROWD: Ow! my eye ball

[Back to present day]

RUCKUS: Just wait till I get me another brick or maybe a large rock or you know, one of those teeny tiny cement blocks. Why’d you have to go mess with the natural order of things? I’d a’ shot you myself, but I realized the white man have better aim.

ROBERT: Stop acting crazy. Where going back to my house for dinner.

RUCKUS: Turn the other cheek and take me with you: I’m hungry!

[Scene at dinner]

KING: You know, Robert, I spoke with sister Rosa before she passed. She said you were prank calling her again.

ROBERT: She was lying.

KING: She had the Caller ID, Robert

TOM: You prank called Rosa Parks?

ROBERT: She stole my thunder.

KING: Robert you got to let it go.

TOM: What did Rosa Parks do to you?

KING: Robert was a member of the Montgomery bus boycott strategic planning comity in 1955.He was on that bus with sister Rosa that fateful day.

TOM [In amazement]: No?

[Flashback, black and white scene on a bus]

PROTESTER: Ok this is it brother, remember no matter what they do, nobody gives up their seat. Ya dig?

OTHER PROTESTER: We shall not be moved.

ROBERT: Mhm

BUS DRIVER: Ya’ll can go ahead onto the back.

[tense moment]

PROTESTER: Ok! we’s moving mista bus man - we’s moving! Sho’ do wish these feet could move fast enough for ya mista bus man.

[They both run to the back of the bus]

BUS DRIVER [To Robert]: Move, boy.

ROBERT: No.

PROTESTER: This here far enough for ya mista bus man? I could press myself up against the cold glass window? This good?

BUS DRIVER [To Parks]: You, go ahead to the back.

PARKS: No, I am not going to move.

[Gasps all around]

PROTESTER: Uh... uh... uh... mista bus driver sir, she she ain’t move

BUS DRIVER: How dare you refuse to give up your seat, woman. What are you, some kind of history crusader for justice?

ROBERT: Yes we are.

BUS DRIVER: You think you’re gonna change history on your own, woman, all by yourself?

PASSENGER: That lady sure has courage.

ROBERT: Hey, what about me? I got courage!

PROTESTER: You wants me to fetch the police for ya, mista officer?

BUS DRIVER: Hey, can someone get me the sheriff? I got a colored woman here who don’t wanna give up her seat.

[Crowd outside bus]:

CROWD: Stay strong sister Rosa!

We love you forever!

ROBERT: That’s right - take us to jail. We’re not afraid!

BUS DRIVER: Stay out of trouble ,nigger.

[Back to dinner scene]

TOM: Robert, you didn’t?

ROBERT: They took her to state. They didn’t take my black ass to state, they gonna lay me at the Jonhson fucking marcher up and down the damn street!

TOM: Well, anyway, Dr. King, I just wanted to say that even though you’ve been getting a lot of flack recently, we’re very honored to meet you , really.

Riley: Get off his dick.

[Huey kicks him]

Riley: Ow! Man, I'm just sayin', Mr. Dubois riding Dr. King like a rodeo show.

[Huey kicks him again]

Riley: Ow!

Granddad: Stop it.

Riley [to Dr. King]: You don't look famous. What are you an actor? Is you Morgan Freeman?

[Huey punches him]

Riley: Ow!

Granddad: Boy, stop acting crazy - you know that's Martin Luther King. Now go clear the dishes.

Riley: Why can't this Morgan Freeman King dude clear the dishes? Shoot, the n***a just had a free meal.

ROBERT: Riley, come here, get over here.

[Sound of Robert whipping him with a belt]

ROBERT: How can you embarrass me in front of Martin Luther King!

RILEY: No, granddad!

ROBERT: What is wrong with you!

RILEY: I hate Morgan freaking King, I wish he never came here!

[New scene: King in living room, flipping between BET and other black music videos]

TV MUSIC: Booty butt cheeks, booty butt, booty butt, booty butt cheeks.

OTHER STATION MUSIC: I got that thuggin love. I got that thuggin love.

KING: What happened, Huey? What happened to our people?

HUEY: I think everyone was waiting for Martin Luther King to come back.

KING: The Martin Luther King they’re waiting for, Huey, is gone forever.

[New Scene, Huey outside of King’s bedroom door in the morning]

HUEY: Dr king? Dr. King, it’s time to get up: you got an interview today.

KING: I’m not going. I quit.

HUEY: Dr king -

KING: I don’t wanna - mm mm.

HUEY: Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., you get out of that room and continue to fight for freedom and justice this instance!

[New Scene, driving in car]

HUEY: Think about it, Dr. King - you missed out on four decades of media evolution.

[Ruckus, grunts and throws brick. Hits a white man in the face]

WHITE MAN: Oh God!

RUCKUS: Sorry, Mr. white man.

HUEY [To King]: What the people need is the truth and not the pretty truth, the horrible awful terrible truth that hurts people’s feelings, the truth that makes them people angry and get up and do something.

KING: Huey, I don’t think I belong in this new world. I don’t know if I need the 20 gig Ipod or the 40 gig. I tried to download some Mahalia Jackson, but I lost my iTunes password.

[Scene of them in apple store. Shows a picture of Ghandi, King and Einstein with Iphone headphones]

KING: I really should have approvals over this kind of thing.

[New scene sitting at fast food restaurant in mall, called Mcwunder’s]

KING: A political party?

HUEY: Not just any kind of political party, a black revolutionary political party.

KING: But why me? You should ask Oprah to do it: she’s more popular and if you ask me, a darn pretty lady...
Oh snap, no they didn’t! A boneless rib sandwich. What will they think of next? I know I shouldn’t eat these, but they’re for a limited time only.

[Looks at tray and sees a placemat add with his face on it]

KING: Ugh,I really should have approvals over this kind of thing.

[New scene: in a TV studio]

KING: And so, the philosophy of this new political party might be considered extremely leftist by some -

TALK SHOW HOST: Do you love America?

KING: I'm sorry?

HOST: You sure as hell are, buddy! Why can't liberals ever answer that question with a simple yes, huh? If you ask me if I love America, I say yes. Why can't you say yes? Say you love America, right now. Say it!

KING: The party's basic philosophy is -

HOST: Say it!

KING: Sir, I will not be -

HOST: Say it or shut up!

[Resuming more level manner of speaking] We'll be back with more fair and balanced coverage after...

[Huey attacks the host with a chair and scene cuts]

[New Scene: driving in car]

HUEY: I thought that went well.

KING: You know, Huey, those of us who do adhere to the philosophy of non-violence frown upon the throwing of furniture to resolve our political differences.

HUEY: Where did people go for information before cable news?

KING: We could do it like we did back in the day, we’ll go into the streets and tell the people.

[Montage of King and Huey, knocking on doors, setting up an office and putting up flyers]

[Ruckus throws brick and hits stop light]

[New Scene: an political office, radio playing]

RADIO: What up y’all? You gotta lock those WFRK, The Freak. That was my main man Gangstalicious, with Thuggin’ Love. We going to the phones, WFRK?

BLACK FEMALE CALLER: Hello? Am I caller 13?

RADIO: You sure are and do you know what that means?

CALLER: What?

RADIO: It means you’re going to the Martin Luther King Emergency Action Part-ay!

CALLER: Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhh, Omg! Omg! I can’t believe it! I can’t believe it!

RADIO: All the way live and baby girl, you gonna be in the building. Tell me the station that’s helping you shake yo stinkin ass with Martin Luther King!

CALLER: WFRK The Freak!

KING: Well, Huey, I thought about what you said about not having enough experience with urban media, so I hired an urban promotions firm to help get the word out.

[Huey stares at him]

KING: Uh oh, was that bad?

[New Scene: Loud crowd outside building]

KING: Huey, are you sure we’re in the right place?

MAN IN PIMP SUIT: Scuse me, bra.

[Bouncer opens rope to man in pimp suit with gold teeth and women on each arm]

BOUNCER: What’s up?

HUEY: My name is hu-

BOUNCER: I tell you right, now ya’ll ain’t getting’ in without no female.

HUEY: Sir, we need to get in.

BOUNCER: I tell you right now, you ain’t getting in with those shoes.

HUEY: What’s wrong with my shoes?

KING: Excuse me sir, I’m Martin Luther King.

BOUNCER: And I’m Malcolm X, n***a, you still ain’t getting in with them shoes. 50 bucks.

HUEY: What?

BOUNCER: 50 bucks, each. You wanna get in or not?

[King reluctantly shells out]

[New scene: crowded dance party]

HUEY: Oh, hell naw!

HUEY [to another bouncer]: Yo we gotta get back there!

BOUNCER [who looks identical to the first]: I tell you right now, you ain’t getting back here without a wristband.

HUEY: What!

BOUNCER: A wristband.

HUEY: This is Martin Luther King!

BOUNCER: I’m surprised they let you in here with those shoes.

BLACK MAN AT PODIUM: I’m just saying, I’m just saying, it’s only right if you recognize all kings, you know what I’m saying? The kings of comedy, the king of rap, Rodney King, the king of beer, King Kong, Don King.

[Crowd applauds]

BLACK GIRL AT PODIUM: Woo that n***a was deep! Ok we all got to stop and get back to my n***a God. Thank you, White Jesus, for making all this positive black shit possible. Amen, ok, let’s keep this mother fucker moving - he ho!

HUEY [Narrating]: while we waited the first black political party was everything you’d expect it to be: there were the hustler preachers,

PREACHER: And that’s why you have to go buy my new book, so God can help you lose weight and get a husband with the benefits!

HUEY: the rapper truce,

[Rappers kissing]

HUEY: oh yea, and there was also the inevitable fight.

[Fight Scene]

RANDOM GIRL: Security, come get these ghetto ass n***as! N***as always gotta mess some shit up! Damn!

KING [At the podium] Excuse me, brothers and sisters, please. If someone could just count off...

HUEY [Narrating]: King looked out on his people and saw they were in great need, so he did what all great leaders would do: he told them the truth.

KING: Will you ignorant n***as pleeease shut the hell up!

[gasps]

RANDOM MAN: He just said what I think he said?

KING: Is this it? This is what I got all those ass whoopings for? I had a dream once. It was a dream that little black boys and little black girls would drink from the river of prosperity, freed from the thirst of oppression. But lo and behold, some four decades later, what have I found but a bunch of trifling, shiftless, good-for-nothing n***as? And I know some of you don't want to hear me say that word. It's the ugliest word in the English language, but that's what I see now: n***as. And you don't want to be a n***a, 'cause n***as are living contradictions! N***as are full of unfulfilled ambitions! N***as wax and wane; n***as love to complain! N***as love to hear themselves talk, but hate to explain! N***as love being another man's judge and jury! N***as procrastinate until it's time to worry! N***as love to be late, n***as hate to hurry! Black Entertainment Television is the worst thing I've ever seen in my life! Usher, "Michael Jackson" is not a genre of music! And now I'd like to talk about Soul Plane. I've seen what's around the corner, I've seen what's over the horizon, and I promise you - you n***as won't have nothing to celebrate. And no, I won't get there with you. I'm going to Canada.

KING: Thank you, Huey

HUEY: Thank you, Dr. King.

KING: Do what you can.

HUEY: That was the last time I saw Dr. King, but the story doesn’t end there. Kings speech was replayed the entire next day on the cable news channels. Then, something unexpected happened: people got angry.

[Shot of different TV stations]

TV REPORTER: Nobody knows exactly what to attribute to the sharp decline in African American drop in drop out rates.

OTHER TV REPORTER: That is Every African American player in the NBA refusing to play until there is full troop withdrawal from.

OTHER TV REPORTER: Billionaire Bob Johnson apologizing to black America for the network he founded.

OTHER TV REPORTER: The White House and Congress are receiving an unprecedented amount of calls from irate African Americans.

HUEY: And the revolution finally came.

[Scene, a large protest in front of the White House gates.]

TV REPORTER: The mob is refusing to disperse. The president is urging everyone to stay calm and obey the curfew.

[Officers in riot gear shoot tear gas at mob and start chasing them amid screaming, mob disperses.]

[Scene shows newspaper with an article in the bottom right hand corner: “Martin Luther King Jr. Dies in Vancouver, B.C at 91 years old.”]

HUEY: It’s fun to dream.