Team StarKid
High School Is Killing Me
[RICHIE]
I'm dead
The blood is all but draining from my head
The nightmare started there, but now has spread
My pulse is certainly droppin'
And my life is hangin' on by a thread

[RUTH]
I'm scared
Someone comes for me, I'm unprepared

[RICHIE & RUTH]
The wait has got me sweatin'
I can't cut through all the tension

[ENSEMBLE]
It's hell on Earth, you know
I'm tweetin' all about it
I take it blow by blow
But I'd never scream or shout it

[School bell rings]

[MISS MULBERRY, spoken]
Passing period is over, find your seats. 
[ENSEMBLE]
High school is killin' me
It's got me all out of rhythm and my melody
It's not cool, it's a fallacy
It's a cruel and unusual brutality
And I can survive it for only so long
High school is killin' me
I'm so fuckin' dead

[MISS MULBERRY, spoken]
Alright, class, pop quiz! I hope you've been hittin' thе books. Miss Lauter!

[STEPH, spoken]
Shit. 
(sung)
I was up all late last night and I couldn't fuckin' study

[ENSEMBLE]
Didn't want to anyway

[STEPH]
I was deep in a Twitter fight about a problеmatic puppy

[ENSEMBLE]
Problematic pooch
[STEPH]
I had heart palpitations
Tryin' to convert crypto to lunch money
There's nowhere to turn

[ENSEMBLE]
For the class of twenty-twenty-wurn
High school is killin' me
It's got me all out of rhythm and my melody

[FEMALE STUDENT]
My melody

[KYLE]
My melody

[ENSEMBLE]
A cesspool, faux democracy
It's one hell of a normal abnormality

[RICHIE]
Agh

[RUTH]
Agh
[PETE]
Agh

[ENSEMBLE]
And I can survive it for only so long (Only so long)
High school is killin' me
I'm so fuckin'–

[STEPH, spoken]
Hey! Hey, geek. 

[PETE, spoken]
Me?

[STEPH, spoken]
Your name's Peter, right?

[PETE, spoken]
Yeah?

[STEPH, spoken]
Hi, Pete. We've been in classes together for a long time, haven't we?

[ENSEMBLE]
I'm so fuckin' dead

[PETE, spoken]
Ever since the first grade. 

[STEPH, spoken]
And I'm just realizing, I've never introduced myself. I'm Stephanie. 

[ENSEMBLE]
I'm so fuckin' dead

[PETE, spoken]
—Lauter, the mayor's daughter, I know. 

[STEPH, spoken]
Yeah, but my friends call me Steph. We're friends, aren't we, Pete?

[ENSEMBLE]
I'm so fuckin' dead

[PETE, spoken]
I don't know, are we?

[STEPH, spoken]
Oh, I wouldn't advertise it to the whole school or anything, but, uh–

[PETE, spoken]
*chuckles*

[ENSEMBLE]
High school

[STEPH, spoken]
–but there's an unspoken bond between us! We're classmates, comrades, we're Nighthawks! We don't leave anyone behind. 

[PETE, spoken]
I got left behind this morning. The bus driver's a fuckin' asshole. 

[STEPH, spoken]
Yeah! We succeed together and we fail together. And I won't mince words, I'm gonna fail this test, Peter. Unless you help me cheat. 

[PETE, spoken]
Cheat?!

[ENSEMBLE]
I'm so fuckin' dead
Eight o'clock bell ring, place my head on my desk

[STEPH, spoken]
Come on, just finish your exam, pass it to me and I'll put my name on it. 

[ENSEMBLE]
Twelve o'clock, Girl Scout, can I just get my rest?

[STEPH, spoken]
I'll give you mine, you get to take the test all over again. Doesn't that sound fun?

[ENSEMBLE]
Three o'clock countdown
Everyday lockdown, classroom arrest
Is God the one giving the test?

[PETE, spoken]
Well, yeah. But won't we get in trouble?

[STEPH, spoken]
Please, Pete. Don't you wanna help me out?

[PETE, spoken]
Oh, alright. 

[GRACE, spoken]
Cheaters!

[STEPH, spoken]
Oh, God. Butt out, Chastity!

[ENSEMBLE]
High school is killin' me
It's got me all out of rhythm and my melody

[PETE]
My melody

[STEPH]
My melody

[ENSEMBLE]
It's not cool, it's a tragedy
I've been thrown to the wolves of the community

[RUTH]
Aoo

[RICHIE]
Ouh

[KYLE]
Augh

[ENSEMBLE]
And I can survive it (I can survive it)
For only so long (Only so long)
And I'll still despise it (I'll still despise it)
When I am gone (When I'm gone)
High school is killin' me

[PETE, spoken]
Grace, just be cool. 

[ENSEMBLE]
Fuck you, biology

[GRACE, spoken]
Never. 

[ENSEMBLE]
High school will murder me

[GRACE, spoken]
Miss Mulberry, they're cheating!

[PETE & STEPH]
I'm so fuckin' dead

[ENSEMBLE]
Yeah