Hi, I'm Local News Legend and I got my hair in pigtails and I got my glasses on, and it's time to fuckin party

I wanna break apart my heart
Glue the pieces to my car
Crash it into a wall
I don't wanna feel at all
I wanna break apart my heart

Douse it in gasoline
'Til the fire burns clean
Then flick a cigarette
Like that movie con-air
Douse it in gasoline

And if you think you're better than me, you're right
There's no one to love, no one to trust in my life

I wanna pick up the pieces
And plant them in the ground
And when a tree grows there
I want to chop that whole tree down

Build it into a boat
And float it in a lake
And with dynamite
I will explode the thing
That makes me make mistakes
And if you think that you're better than me, you're right
There's no one to love, no one to trust in my life

Sometimes I get so lonesome I can't breathe
Sometimes I get so scared that I can't speak
Sometimes I get so worried I can't hear my heart beat
Anyway, anyway

I wanna tear out my heart
And give it away
To a person more deserving one day
And if all I see is the worst in everything
That's all I'm gonna get, that's all I'm gonna get, that's all I'm gonna get

And if you think that you're better than me, you're right
There's no one to love, there's no one to trust in my life
There's no one to love, no one to trust in my life
No one to love, no one to trust in my life