[Intro: Old Lady (Beatnik)]
Excuse me!
(Watch it, lady!)
Pardon me, sonny!

[Beatnik (Chorus)]
Down below the street
Can you dig the steady beat?
It's the subway!
(Subway!)

[Bert (Chorus)]
Moving right along
Hear the rhythm loud and strong
It's the subway!
(Subway!)

[Middle-Age Man]
'Cause there isn't any room in this town

[Betty Lou]
They put all the trains down under the ground!

[Policeman (Chorus)]
Buy a token now
For a ride that's super-wow
On the subway!
(Subway!)
[Everyone talks at once]

[Bert]
Excuse me!

[Young-ish Woman]
You should say you're sorry!

[Bert]
Hi, Kermit

[Middle-Age Man]
Squeezed inside the door

[Boy]
There's no room for any more!

[Both (Chorus)]
On the subway!
(Subway!)

[Beatnik]
Hang onto the strap

[Young-ish Woman]
Wonder where they hid the map?
[Both (Chorus)]
On the subway!
(Subway!)

[Betty Lou]
If you're in a hurry, take the express

[Kermit the Frog]
It will go right by your local address

[Redhead (Chorus)]
Swaying to and fro
It's the only way to go
On the subway!
(Subway!)

[Kermit the Frog (Chorus)]
(Ohhhhhh)
My stop just went by!

[Betty Lou (Chorus)]
(Ohhhhhh)
Say, your thumb is in my eye!

[Beatnik (Chorus)]
(Ohhhhhh)
It's so hot I could die!
[Chorus]
Any way, every way, everywhere!

[Bert (Chorus)]
Packed inside a train
It's too crowded to complain
On the subway!
(Subway!)

[Old Lady (Chorus)]
You could lose your purse
Or you might lose something worse
On the subway!
(Subway!)

[Beatnik]
It's the biggest travel bargain in town

[Young-ish Woman]
The longest-running show underground!

[Middle-Age Man]
Come on, step inside
You'll get taken for a ride
On the subway!

[Kermit the Frog]
Where's that?

[Chorus]
On the subway!

[Bridge: For some reason, some of them start dancing in pairs]

[Betty Lou]
If you're in a hurry, take the express

[Kermit the Frog]
It will go right by your local address

[Chorus]
Buy a token now
For a ride that's super-wow
On the subway!
On the subway! (On the subway!)
On the subway! (On the subway!)
Whooooaaa!

[The subway stops and everyone exits, except for Bert and the Policeman]