I'm thinkin' 'bout those presents
I want 'em now
I really love some gifts at Christmas
Tear the wrapping paper
Uncover prize
I need to see what people thought I would like

Etiquette dictates that I've gotta wait
For Christmas Eve or Christmas Day
When I'm face-to-face
With mom and dad or uncles
It's a disgrace
Appalling stuff

I need a Christmas shortcut
I just wanna open up my presents now
Give me a Christmas shortcut
I can't wait forever, this is what I want

A straight line is the shortest
Distance between
Me and my presents, holiday geometry
Underneath the tree, such a cruel display
Wrapped items staring back
Taunting every day
I toss and turn in bed
Looping scary thoughts
Of waiting until Christmas morning
I dream of wrapping paper
Covering the earth
A suffocated world, tradition at its worst
Everyone keeps sayin' "You've gotta wait"
For Christmas Eve or Christmas Day
When I'm face-to-face
With grandparents, friends, aunts
People I've met
Absolutely unthinkable

I need a Christmas shortcut
I just wanna open up my presents now
Give me a Christmas shortcut
I can't wait forever, this is what I want

I need a Christmas shortcut
From Point A wrapped up
Point B in use in my home
Give me a Christmas shortcut
Expedite, accelerate
Let's hurry now

I have my creed, yes they're firm beliefs
When I learn of presents, I must open them ASAP
Gratification, no, I won't delay
So many presents, gotta open them all today

I don't wanna wait, I don't wanna wait
I don't wanna wait
No-o-o-o-o
I'm not gonna wait, I'm not gonna wait
I'm never gonna wait
No-o-o-o-o
I need a Christmas shortcut
I just wanna open up my presents now
Give me a Christmas shortcut
I can't wait forever, this is what I want

I need a Christmas shortcut
From Point A wrapped up
Point B in use in my home
Give me a Christmas shortcut
Expedite, accelerate
Let's hurry now

Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh

A Christmas shortcut
Christmas shortcut
Christmas shortcut
Christmas shortcut now