Bob goes to church every Sunday
Every Sunday that the fish ain't bitin'
Bob never has to have dinner with the preacher
'Cause Bob never bothered getting married
He likes to drink a beer or two every now and again
He always had more dogs than he ever had friends
Bob ain't light in the loafers
He might kneel but he never bends over

Bob takes care of his mama
She's the only one he lets call him Robert
She don't drive anymore so he takes her to the store
And keeps her yard looking just like she wants it
Every week at the beauty shop Bob's mama hears
Of another woman's made another man disappear
Robert ain't exactly scared of women
He's just got his own way of livin'

Bob's still got an antenna on a pole
Two channels come in, two more come and go
He used to watch the news but he don't anymore
Ain't none of it new, it's the same as before
He figures all any of it's any good for
Is keeping every bored 'til there ain't nobody like Bob anymore

Bob takes care of his mama
She's a mess but he feels like he oughta
How big a mess today? Ask Bob, he'll say
"She's a big 'un and she's gonna be a lotta"
He likes to drink a beer or two every now and again
He always had more dogs than he ever had friends
Bob ain't light in the loafers
He might kneel but he never bends over