[Verse 1: Randy Newman]
Putin puttin' his pants on
One leg at a time
You mean he's just like a regular fella, huh?
He ain't nothin' like a regular fella!
Putin puttin' his hat on
Hat size number nine
You sayin' Putin's gettin' big-headed?
Putin's head is just fine!

[Verse 2: Randy Newman]
He can drive his giant tractor
Across the Trans-Siberian plain
He can power a nuclear reactor
With the left side of his brain
And when he take his shirt off
He drive the ladies crazy
When he take his shirt off
Make me wanna be a lady!
It's the Putin Girls!

[Chorus: Putin Girls]
Putin, if you put it
When you put it, where you put it?
Putin, if you put it
Will you put it next to me?
Putin, if you put it
When you put it, where you put it?
Putin, if you put it
Will you put it next to me?
[Interlude: Randy Newman]
Putin hates the Putin Girls
'Cause he hates vulgarity
He loves his mother country
And he loves his family
He and his ex-wife Lyudmila
Are riding along the shore
Of the beautiful new Russian Black Sea
Let's listen in, a great man is speaking

[Verse 3: "Vladimir Putin"]
We fought a war for this?
I'm almost ashamed
The Mediterranean
Now there's a resort worth fighting for
If only the Greeks or the Turks
Would start to sniff around
Oh, I'd bring the hammer down
So quick their woolly heads would spin
Woolly head, woolly head, woolly head
Oh, wait a minute, even better
What if the Kurds got in the way?
Hey, Kurds and way, curds and whey!

[Verse 4: "Vladimir Putin"]
Sometimes a people
Is greater than their leader
Germany, Kentucky, and France
Sometimes a leader
Towers over his country
One shot at glory
They don't get a second chance
I dragged these peasants
Kicking and screaming
Into the 21st century
I thought we'd make it
I must have been dreaming
These chicken farmers and file clerks
Gonna be the death of me
[Bridge: "Vladimir Putin" and (Putin Girls)]
I can't do it (Sure you can!)
I can't do it! (Yeah, you can!)
What makes you say that, girls?
(Tell you why)
(Cause you're the Putin Man!)

[Alternate Chorus: "Vladimir Putin" and (Putin Girls/Choir)]
Who whipped Napoleon? (We did!)
Who won World War II? (The Americans!)
That's a good one, ladies
It's our turn to sit in the comfy chair
(And you're the man, gonna get us there!)
I don't know, Lenin couldn't do it
I don't know, Stalin couldn't do it
Now, they couldn't do it
Why do you think I can?
(You're gonna lead our people)
(To the Promised Land)

[Outro: "Vladimir Putin"]
Oh, you're right!
Cause goddamn, I'm the Putin Man!