Sittin with the fat man
Tryin to get a loan
Talkin about horses
And the women that we've known

Spittin on the sidewalk
Squintin into the sun
Greetin all the people
Smilin at everyone

I said, "Hey, listen, Fat Man
I just can't get a break
Must I pay my whole life long
For just one mistake?"

"My brother's in the armed forces
My sister is in jail
Won't you give me fifty dollars
So I can pay her bail?"

He said, "You can't fool the fat man
No, you can't fool me
You're just a two-bit grifter
And that's all you'll ever be"

"You can't fool the fat man
No, you can't fool me
You're just a two-bit grifter
And that's all you'll ever be"