Vic Reeves
These Things You’ll Find Constantly Irritate Our Minds
Like a shrimp in a suitcase laying on a window ledge
Like a pair of tartan slippers and they’re underneath a hedge
Like a scout master at daybreak putting peanuts in his glove
Like a specially formed ice arch for climbing over doves
Like a sardine in a hair net and he’s staring at a priest
These things you’ll find constantly irritate our minds

Like a sugar unicycle that’s being ridden by a fork
Like a batten berg owned by Jesus that can miraculously talk
Like a lemon pip with sideboards fighting a bearded crab
Or Bono in a boob tube on the choir master’s lap
Like a elaborate heating system apparently in Kent
These things you’ll find constantly irritate our minds

Like a badger with an afro throwing sparklers at the Pope
Like a family of foxes and they’re glowering at some soap
Like a lump of Nazi nougat walking down an avenue
Like a Tudor vacuum cleaner saying “How do you do?”
Like a kestrel having sex above a television set
These things you’ll find constantly irritate our minds