Vic Reeves
Oh! Mr. Songwriter
Ow!

Oh Mr Songwriter (uh!)
Write me a song on your trumpet
Make it a good song
So that everyone in the world can sing along

Oh Mr Painter
Do us a picture with your brush
Make it easy on the eye
So that the children of the world can live in peace

[Trumpet solo]

Oh Mr Carpenter
Knock us up a chair
Out of wood
Make it comfortable yet attractive
So that old people of the world can have a good sit down

Oh Mr Weaver
Weave me a tapestry with your golden twine
Make it thick and woolly baby
So the lovers all over the world can rest easy

[Saxophone solo]
Uh!

Pack it in Parker!

Oh Mr Nut Gatherer
Gather me some chestnuts from the wood
Lay them willy-nilly in the cornfield
So the farmer's job is easier done

Oh, Mr Songwriter
Mr Songwriter
Oh, Mr Songwriter
Oh, Mr Songwriter