(Ronnie Bond)
Whether you [?] or not, that is a number fucking 1, innit? If that bastard don't go, then you can-- I -- I'll fuckin' retire. I fuckin' do!

(Dennis Berger)
I think it IS a good song! I agree, it is a good song.

(Ronnie)
But it fuckin' well won't be unless we spend a little bit of fuckin' thought and imagination to fuckin' make it a fuckin' No 1. You've got to put a little bit of fuckin' fairy dust over the bastard! You know, loads of-- you know!

(Dennis)
Well, we'll put some fairy dust over it. I'll piss over the tape!

[Indistinct chatter from everyone else]

(Ronnie)
You know what I mean? I don't know what - I don't know what it needs, Den, but I know that it needs …

(Dennis)
Aaah! I know that it needs strings – that I do know.

(Ronnie)
Right.

(Dennis)
Right?
(Ronnie)
Agreed. And it needs something at the beginning of that number to make thе... somebody s-- remembеr it...

(Tony Murray)
Well, yeah, while we were arguing we could've been trying to get some-- some sound out there. We try and get something right.
So what do you suggest we do then? Give it up for the night?

(Dennis)
No! Not at all! I don't say give it up! I'll stay here til tomorrow night.

(Tony)
Well then what's wrong?

(Dennis)
Just provided we get something going!

(Tony)
We'll GET something going, we're just trying different things

(Ronnie)
We WILL! We.. we will. But it's... that what he was playing, agreed, the sound is [trails off]

(Tony)
Listen, we've got-- we've got about what, we've got 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... 'bout 6 producers in here tonight.

(Dennis)
We haven't got six producers!
(Tony)
Yes we have! If we had one producer here tonight, we'd get it right. Oh, he would get it the way he thinks it should-- should be. But because we haven't got a producer, we're all fucking pitching in ideas.

(Dennis)
Yeah, well we always do that!

(Tony)
Most of them are wrong, you know...

(Dennis)
Not necessarily, they're not necessarily wrong...

(Tony)
Well most of them ARE wrong, but we're trying them. And it is j-- it makes his life fucking hell. If we had one producer to talk through, great. But we haven't got a producer. We were supposed to have a fucking producer, but we haven't got one.

(Reg Presley)
Yeah, this is what he's been doing fucking wrong! You've got to have a fuckin' bloke that says: 'I've got a fuckin' sound in here that's fucking great.' Sign here and have a fucking listen to it, and you come in here and it's... probably a different fuckin' tune nearly! But if it's fucking good... yep, that's it! Uh, when w-we walked through that door and we think 'oh, fuck no', y'know?

(Dennis)
But what would you have said if the producer would've been here, and he would've left it exactly as it is, as you've got it now?

(Tony)
What producer would do that?

(Dennis)
I don't know! I-it might be, you don't know! He might say 'keep it like that and put whatever else...' strings or whatever!
(Tony)
We wouldn't have signed a contract with him in the first place.

(Dennis)
Who?!

(Tony)
Any producer. Any...

(Dennis)
You don't have to sign a contract with him!

(Tony)
Right.

(Dennis)
You don't have to sign a contract to--to have a--to-- with a producer to have a record produced!

(Tony)
Well we'd thank you and goodnight if you left it... the way it is now.

(Dennis)
Ah, then you see, you'd argue with him!

(Tony)
Well, yeah. But not this, we'll leave it like that.

(Dennis)
You don't know!

(Reg)
No.

(Tony)
No. A proper producer would--would--would sort it out...

(Dennis)
You know, he might say we'll put other things on it. We'll overdub... you know, we'll put strings on it, or brass or whatever his idea on it, or a fucking... wobbleboard! I dunno. But would you agree to that?

[2-3 band members talking at once]

(Dennis)
Oh yeah! Sure! But would you be-- would you agree? Would you have a produ- would you have a producer sit here and say 'That's it'?

(Reg)
Within the first... within the first half an hour I'd either have faith in the cunt or I wouldn't.

(Tony)
That is what we want! That is what we need! Because you can see the way we're going on - we need a producer that's sayin' 'No you're not doing that; you're fuckin' doing this.' That's what we need

(Reg)
Yeah.

(Dennis)
Well I don't think you'd wear it.

(Reg and Tony)
We would!

(Reg)
If we had faith in him, and we'd know whether we had faith in him within the first fuckin' half an hour.

(Dennis)
Did you do exactly what Larry Page said?

(Tony and Reg)
Yep!

(Tony)
That's how they had hit records.

(Reg)
Because there was just one fuckin' mind on it...

(Ronnie)
Until we had that fuckin' [drowned out by Reg]

(Reg)
...not fucking seven or eight.

(Ronnie)
We didn't even fuckin' get a say in it – it was fuckin', wham, it was in the can regardless! You reckon that was bad? Fuck me! He used to-- you know, I mean one take, that's it, finished! [Whimpers indistinctly] You-- you never 'ad a fuckin' say and it was out! As weak and fuckin' insipid we used to think 'well, fucking hell'.
[Reg starts talking over him]That's the secret of the fucking- SHUT UP!

(Reg)
We thought With A Girl Like You was fuckin' terrible, and we said 'let's go in and do it again'. And that was the only fuckin' time he let us fucking...

(Ronnie)
Have our way.

(Reg)
...have our way. And could we get anything fuckin' better?

(Ronnie)
No.

(Reg)
Fuckin' … the first thing he fuckin' did... was it.

(Ronnie)
We spent all day, all fuckin' day. We went in there at nine o' clock and we didn't come out till, fuck, like three o'clock the next fuckin' morning, and they had... Mick Jagger, you name 'em, they were fuckin' in there to try get tha-- to TRY and make it BETTER. And they couldn't!

(Tony)
Anyway, Dennis is sitting out there wondering what he's [?] going to do. Now what are we going to do?

[Indistinct murmuring]

(Reg)
What about a fuckin' 12-string on it? Doing what he was doing? That sounded so full...

(Dennis)
Play the beg-- play the beginning again, Barry.

(Tony)
Tell you what, we can put that on, and let's just put it on. It can always be taken off...

(Reg)
Yeah.

(Dennis)
Play the beginning again.

(Tony)
...cos we're not gonna mix down tonight, anyway.

(Reg)
'Cos that sounds empty, and unless you can get really something exceptional...

(Dennis)
...play--just play the beginning again!

[Acoustic guitar strumming]

(Reg)
YEAH!!!

[Acoustic guitar strumming continues]

(Reg)
No!!!

[Guitar cuts out]

(Reg)
You 'ad it there at the beginning. Ron. It was soundin' GOOD! Just-- Ron? Ronnie? Just listen for a sec…

(Ronnie)
[fading in]...you can say that to me now all fuckin' night, but I just cannot feel it any other than what I've been fuckin' doing it!

(Reg)
You have played it tonight!

(Ronnie)
Well you better fucking [?] then, cos I ain't gonna be able to [?], I'll tell you that NOW. I cannot fucking do it!
I don't know, if--if that's the case, then we should fucking find out before we ever get into the fucking studio... we wanna fuckin'... do that, that and that, because... we've been doing it for EVERY...

(Reg)
It's easy, you've DONE it tonight!

(Ronnie)
...fucking weakest link going [Sings instrumental part] you know?
Well don't expect fuckin' miracles just like that Reg, it's fuckin' in 'ere, embedded in there! I can't fuckin' hear it any other way but that!

(Reg)
But you have done it. You... did it!

(Chris Britton)
It-- it's exactly the same rhythm as you were playing before, it's "dah-dah-dah-dah-dah JA dah-dah-dah-dah-dah" on different drums! That's all...

(Ronnie)
No!

(Reg)
You're doing, "da-ba-da-ba, boom-boom BAH"

(Chris)
Play dah-dah-dah-dah-dah JA.

(Reg)
No, no more beats!

(Chris)
Just play duh-duh duh-duh-duh chuh on whatever drums you were playing it on originally. How you've got it embedded into...

(Reg)
Yeah.

(Ronnie)
Yeah, alright. Alright...

(Chris)
A-and then just start moving it about the different drums.

(Tony)
What you were doing is-- is exactly-- exactly the same as what you were doing originally but on different drums.

(Ronnie)
Oh yeah, I know, I know!

(Reg)
You-- yeah. Only you were doing that... and you did it. You went duh-duh duh-duh duh chuh."

(Ronnie)
You can say that all fucking night, but you won't listen.

(Tony)
We can keep on trying to play it and get it sorted...

(Ronnie)
Yeah, well just shut your fuckin' mouth for five minutes and give me a fuckin' chance to do it. Don't keep fuckin', right into that fuckin' microphone, "Deh deh deeh! Deh deh deeh!"
Fuck me, Reg.
Just fuck off...

(Reg)
Well you-- yeah well you fucking think...

(Ronnie)
...in there, and-- and just keep going fucking through it. Don't just keep saying "ah yeah well that ain't right, that..." I KNOW IT AIN'T FUCKIN' RIGHT! I-- I can fuckin' hear it ain't right, you cunt. Well, fuck me...

(Reg)
We can hear it's fuckin' not right, too!

(Ronnie)
I fuckin' can, and I'm the cunt that's playing it, so when I fuckin' say 'ere in me fuckin' head, yeah that's what I gotta fuckin' do, THEN I'LL DO IT!
Ya big pranny.

(Tony)
Listen, we keep on playing it and just... play what you think is right.

(Chris?)
Okay right, well... can you sing along to what we've got? Cos then we'll know where we are and so we'll all [?]

[Tony plays a bass riff and the other guys murmur in the background]
[Reg says something indistinct from a distance]

Reg:
Fucking drummer, I shit 'im.

[Tony starts playing again whilst Reg sings a nondescript song]

[Acoustic guitar starts playing again]

[Chris?]
Drummer! Make the count then...

(Reg)
One, two, a one, two, three, four - ya doing it fuckin' wrong!"

(Ronnie)
I know I'm doing it fucking... wrong
[Reg laughs]

(Reg)
Dubba dubba dubba chah, dubba dubba dubba chah, dubba dubba dubba chah, dubba dubba…
You did it-- you did it in the beginning. Bloody hell, I can't play with that.

(Ronnie)
Nor I.

(Reg)
Eh??

(Ronnie)
Nor can fuckin' I!

(Reg)
Well, you're fuckin' doin' it!

(Ronnie)
[Chuckling] Well, I can't fuckin' play to it either!

(Reg)
[Cackles] Why don't you just do what you fuckin' started out doing – dubba dubba dobba chah. Do it on your top one, dubba dubba derba chah. Dubba dubba derba chah.

[Ronnie attempts to play Reg's spoken rhythm on his tom drums]

(Reg)
Nooooo!

[Ronnie recites the rhythm that Reg was telling him, then tries to play it on drums again]

(Ronnie)
Why don't you fucking-- you're talking out of the back of your fuckin' arses, because all you want then is the same fuckin' thing that I was playing fuckin' originally in that bastard!

(Chris)
Like, on different FUCKING DRUMS, Ronnie!

(Reg)
On different drums!

(Ronnie)
Well then all you want, then, is the fuckin'... [hits tom] THAT one, and the fuckin' bass drum playing the same thing."

(Reg)
You're the fucking-- you're the drummer!

(Chris)
No! No!

(Ronnie)
Yes you fuckin' do, 'cos that's all you're fuckin' doing.

(Chris)
It's only one drum...

(Ronnie)
You ain't playing any-fuckin'-thing else!
Alright, I'll play that! I'm going [plays the drums whilst singing along to the rhythm]
...and you're changing the fucking thing all completely, 'cos you-- you can't fucking do it!

(Reg)
No, no you're not! No, Listen!

(Ronnie)
You're going [plays the drums whilst singing along to other rhythm]

(Reg)
Eyyyy! That's... that's it! That's [?]

(Chris)
Hoo-fucking-ray!

(Ronnie)
Yeah, fucking...

(Chris)
Exactly the same thing, on different drums! That's all we said!

(Reg)
You don't fucking listen, that's your trouble!

(Ronnie)
Oh, fine...

(Chris)
We didn't say we want different THINGS on fucking different drums!

(Reg)
You don't! We're saying what you're... and you did it!

(Chris)
We want 'dah-dah-dah-dah-da'!

(Reg)
And you fucking did it!

(Dennis)
[Distantly] Hope the tape wasn't on!

(Reg)
Da-ba-da-ba-da jah! Da-ba-da-ba-da jah!

(Chris)
And then change it round and do it the other fucking way round!

(Ronnie)
Oh, fuck it, I'll do it right now [mumbles indistinctly whilst Tony plays bass again]

(Chris)
[?] fucking... ALWAYS fucking get this. You don't...

(Reg)
Maybe you should have a li-- a little more time than to be able to just flip it out and change it entirely.

[Indistinct muttering]

(Reg)
In fact we're not asking you to change it much! We're only asking you to do 'alf of it on one drum, 'alf of it on the other and the bang... wherever you want to bang.
[Through talkback] Ronnie, can you 'ear me?

(Ronnie)
Yeah?

(Reg)
W-what about... trying it... not only-- not on that top-- just on that top skin floor, and then... your floor tom-tom, but try it on... split your hands so's that one beat is doin' it on the top s-- uh... drum, one's doin' it on the floor tom tom, then your bass.

[Ronnie attempts the drum part again]

(Reg)
Sounding a bit...

Eh?

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