Marvin Hamlisch
Montage, Part 1: Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love
[VAL]
Hello twelve

[RICHIE]
Hello thirteen

[MAGGIE]
Hello love

[AL]
Changes, oh!

[BEBE]
Down below

[DIANA]
Up above

[VAL]
Time to doubt

[MIKE]
To break out

[RICHIE]
It's a mess
[MAGGIE]
It's a mess

[PAUL & JUDY]
Time to grow

[MAGGIE & AL]
Time to go

[CONNIE, BOBBY & RICHIE]
Adolesce

[ALL]
Adolesce
Too young to take over
Too old to ignore

[AL]
Gee, I'm almost ready

[ALL]
But what for?

There's a lot
I am not
Certain of
Hello twelve
Hello thirteen
Hello love
[MARK, spoken]
And from the book, I diagnosed my own appendicitis

(sung)
Next day I went to our doctor down the block
Sure enough, acute appendicitis!
They rushed me right to the hospital
Well, I figured this book would cover everything
The rest of my life

(spoken)
Then, when I was thirteen, I had my first... wet dream. I went right back to the book....milky discharge, milky discharge, milky discharge, milky discharge, milky discharge...

(sung)
Gonorrhea!
I was in shock, I mean
Gonorrhea!

(spoken)
Before I'd even started. I was terrified. I couldn't tell my mother I had...

(sung)
Gonorrhea!

(spoken)
So, the book said, drink a lot of water...
[ZACH, spoken]
Is that all the book said?

[MARK, spoken]
No, take penicillin, strepto-something-or-other, but I couldn't do anything about that unless I told somebody. 

(sung)
So all I could do was drink the water
And I drank like twenty glasses a day

(spoken)
For three weeks. I almost drowned. Finally, I went to confession and I told the priest that I had gonorrhea! Well, he was in shock too

(sung)
"Who have you been with, my son?"

(spoken)
Nobody. Nobody. 

(sung)
"Then how can you have gonorrhea?"

(spoken)
Well, I told him about the book's diagnosis for milky discharge and he set me straight. It's the only time the church ever helped me out. Well, I was...

[CONNIE]
Four foot ten
Four foot ten
That's the story of my life
I remember when everybody was my size
Boy, was that great
But then everybody started moving up
And there I was, stuck at
Four foot ten
Four foot ten
But I kept hoping and praying
I used to hang from a parallel bar
By the hour
Hoping I'd stretch
Just an inch more

(spoken)
'Cause I was into dancing then, and I was good! And I wanted so much to grow up to be a prima ballerina. Then I went out for cheerleader! And they told me, "No dice. You'll get lost on the football field. The pom-poms are bigger than you!" I spent my whole childhood waiting to grow. 

[VAL]
Tits!
When am I gonna grow tits?

[PAUL]
Secret
My whole life was a secret

[MIKE]
One little fart! And they called me "Stinky" for three years! Ah!

[ALL except CONNIE]
Goodbye twelve
Goodbye thirteen
Hello love...

[BEBE]
Robert Goulet, Robert Goulet
My God, Robert Goulet!

[ALL]
...Oh!
Down below
Up above...

[DON]
Playing doctor with Evelyn

[ALL]
La la la

[RICHIE]
I'll show you mine

[ALL]
La la

[RICHIE]
You show me yours

[ALL]
La la

[KRISTINE]
Seeing Daddy naked!

[ALL]
Time to grow
Time to go...

[SHEILA]
Surprise!

[ALL]
La la la

[SHEILA]
Mom and Dad were doing it

[BOBBY]
I'm gonna be a movie star

[CONNIE, spoken]
But you see, the only thing about me that grew was my desire

(sung)
I was never gonna be Maria, tall chief
I was just...

(spoken)
This peanut en pointe. That was my whole trip, my size. And it still is. God, my last show I was thirty-two and I played a fourteen-year-old brat. 

[ZACH, spoken]
Ah hah. The Year of the Chicken. Thirty-two. 

[CONNIE, spoken]
So, I got caught. But I don't look it. And I shouldn't knock it, 'cause I've always been able to work. 

(sung)
From the time I was five in King and I
King and I
Up 'til now I've never stopped
'Cause whatever I am
I am...