Neil Cicierega
Wrist Water Man
Okay, hold up, a hedgehog that does cardio?
Please take a seat, 'cause it's me, Mario!
Your face looks like you got hit by a truck
No one plays your games because they know that they suck

By the way, where is Luigi? Oh, there he is!
The fact you even have a fanbase is hilarious
Look at me! I'm dropping (TECHNO) uncertainty
Your brain is so small, it's the size of a bumblebee!

Please don't try to step to me, I'll win this battle easily
Never try to beef with me, I'll K.O. you breezily!

Who are you insulting, have you gone insane?
I own this rap battle, this is my domain!
By the way, who are you calling a sellout?
Sonic the Hedgehog is always trying to steal my clout!

I'll teach you a lesson, so here is a taste:
You're so ugly, your fans had to fix your face!
This is true, so swallow the pill
I'd run you over, but you're already roadkill

Win against me? You must be insane
You're jealous, 'cause all your games are lame
Try to catch up to me, you're way too slow
You eat mushrooms daily, but still can't grow?
I can outrun you on my best day with my (DASH)
When will you realize Nintendo milks you for cash?
Even your mother can tell you that you're trash
I'll reduce you to ash and rip off your mustache

Oh well, I guess the ball is in my court
You're going downhill, someone call tech support!
With any amount of skill, anyone can play you
Your nose is so big, do you have the flu?

Roses are red, and violets are blue
To waft over you, and cloud up your view!
You are not part of the grOUP
So watered down I'll slurp you like soup!

Ice on my shoes, wrist waters on my neck
Life brother choose, his daughter then I left
Revelation has it you're as fast as a snail
Your gimmick is running, way to be stale!

Mario versus Sonic, you need some tonic!
I will just frolic, my rhymes are harmonic
I won this battle, so please take note
Can someone please pass the remote?

Win against me? You must be insane
No one plays your games because they know that they suck!
Try to catch up to me, you're way too slow
The fact you even have a fanbase is hilarious!
I can outrun you on my best day with my dash
Your brain is so small, it's the size of a bumblebee!
Even your mother can tell you that you're trash
Please don't try to beef with me, I'll K.O. you breezily!

(whistling)