[Verse 1]
Hello there, Spencer
I see you, you boy, boy
I see you, Spencer
With my eyes

You're the architect of my dreams, Spencer
You plan them, and build them on blue paper
And hand them to me

And then I dream them, Spencer
That's what you do for me
Thank you for that, Spencer
You prick

[Chorus]
I'm a magician, Spencer, a furious magician
Ohh-ooh-ooh
Avada kedavra, Spencer, to you, Spencer
Avada kedavra to you, Spencer

[Verse 2]
You think you're something special, Spencer?
You think you're something brand new?
But you're old oats, Spencer
You're old, dry, stale oats, Spencer
[Chorus]
I'm a magician, Spencer
A furious magician
Ohh-ooh-ooh-ooh

[Bridge 1]
You're a tall glass of water, aren't you, Spencer?
You boy, precious boy
I'm Ben Bernanke, Spencer, and I want your teeth
For the Federal Reserve
I'm cutting interest rates in half, Spencer
And I need your teeth

[Verse 3]
I'll admit, Spencer, you're handsome
But what have you done with it?
You think you can mock me, Spencer?
Do you?

Do you think you can mock me, Spencer?
Do you think you can capture my essence
And throw it back at me with
Humor and rhetorical devices?

Well, you can't, Spencer
You don't know what I'm capable of
I need your teeth
For my Lonely Hearts Club Band, Spencer
I'm Ben Bernanke
[Chorus]
I'm a magician, Spencer
A furious magician
Ohh-ooh-ooh-ooh-hoo-hoo
Are you proud of your country?
Are you proud of your country?

[Interlude]
I'll bet you are, pretty little boy
Sitting up there in your high chair
Demanding more applesauce

Well you've already got enough applesauce, Spencer!
There's plenty of applesauce on your plate

[Bridge 2]
I'm going to kiss you, Spencer, on the lips
You sexy little rattlesnake, you naughty little baby boy
You rambunctious little infant
My mother tries to get me to go on dates, Spencer
You know what that's like?
You know how humiliating that is, Spencer?

[Breakdown]
You boy, Spencer
Spencer... (Spencer... ) (Spencer.)
(OH MY GOD!)
You tall drink of water
Spencer
[Chorus]
I'm a magician, Spencer, a furious magician
Ohh-ooh-ooh-ooh
I'm a magician, Spencer, a furious magician
Magician
Magician...

[Outro]
I love you, Spencer; I'm gonna spank you silly...