[Verse 1]
I wanna be a lawyer
Doctor or professor
Member of the U. M. C. 
I want an air conditioner
Cottage on the river
And all the money I can see (Mmm)

[Verse 2]
I wanna drive a Lincoln
Spend my evenings drinking
The very best of Burgundy
I want a yacht for sailing
Private eye for tailing
My wife if she's a bit too free
Yeah, oh yeah

[Chorus]
I've been told ever since I was a boy
It's what one ought to be
A part of the U. M. C.  (Ooh, ooh, ooh)

[Verse 3]
I wanna pool to swim in
Fancy suits to dress in
Some stock in G. M. and G. E. 
An office in the city
Secretary pretty
Who'll take dictation on my knee
[Verse 4]
I want a paid vacation
Don't wanna have to ration
A thing with anyone but me
And if there's war or famine
Promise I'll examine
The details if they're on T. V., yeah

[Chorus]
I'll pretend to be liberal
But I'll still support the G. O. P. 
As part of the U. M. C. (Oh)

[Outro]
I wanna be a lawyer
Doctor or professor
A member of the U. M. C.