[ARCHIE]
Only got one shot –
Better get it right
I'm getting ready
Gotta look real hot
When it's Friday night
I'm getting ready!

I'm getting ready today
I'm getting ready to say
"I'm not that weird geek you think I must be"
I'm getting ready to move
I'm getting ready to prove
Kendra just needs a sex god like me

[EVAN]
On Friday night, I'll be the hometown hero

[ARCHIE]
Gotta cut my nails…

[EVAN]
If this goes right, then I'll be free and clear

[ARCHIE]
Gotta shave my beard…
[EVAN]
And if it goes as planned
Patrice will understand
Some prices are worth paying when your dreams come true…

[ARCHIE]
I'm getting ready for her!
I'm getting ready, yes, sir!
Ready for passion, delight and romance!

[ARCHIE & EVAN]
I'm getting ready to go!
I'm getting ready and knowing
I may only get this one chance-

[BRETT]
There, in the dark of the Appleton Cinema
Free from the public's prying eyes
There, with the girl in the chair beside me
I can reveal my Big Surprise!
There, while the rest of the crowd's immersed in
All of the blood vessels onscreen burstin'
Kendra will get to be the first in
Line to realize:
Here comes the Tongue!
[MALCOLM & EDDIE]
Here it comes, here it comes!

[BRETT]
Here comes the Tongue!

[MALCOLM & EDDIE]
Here it comes, here it comes!

[BRETT]
Here comes the-

[BRETT, EDDIE & MALCOLM]
Tolubalubalubalubalubalubalubalubalubalubalubalubalubalung!

[KENDRA, spoken]
Okay, just go through this with me one more time

[LUCY, spoken]
Okay

[KENDRA]
If he does it and I let him…

[LUCY]
You're a slut
[KENDRA]
Right
And if he wants to, but I stop him…

[LUCY]
You're a tease

[KENDRA]
God
And if I let him and I like it…

[LUCY]
You're a skank

[KENDRA]
Wow!

[LUCY]
But he could also get his tongue stuck down your throat
Or try so kiss so hard, he chips one of your teeth
Or there's a million other ways that it could all go wrong
It doesn't matter if the urge to kiss him back is strong
You've got to hold that boy at bay
Step back from the edge and say:

"I'm a good girl, I don't do that
I'm a nice girl, put that away
I'm a good girl, keep your hands off!"
If you tell him that, then you'll be okay

[KENDRA, spoken]
What if it's just like this much?

[LUCY]
When you got that solo in choir
It's 'cause I told you what to sing
When you got the lead in the fall school play
It's 'cause I coached you all last spring
When you got to be the head of the cheerleading squad
It's 'cause I taught you everything
Think of all the things I should have had you got instead
Because you did just what I said![LUCY]
"You're a good girl!"

"You don't do that!"

"You're a good girl!"

Don't question me!

"You're a good girl!"

"You don't do that!"

[EVAN]
Koh-amar...
Ha'El adoshem...


Boray Hashamayim


Venotayhem...



I’m getting ready to do
Something that makes them
Accept me at last! 
[KENDRA]
"I'm a good girl!"

But he's soooo cute

Listen, Lucy…

But I could be his girlfriend!

"I'm a good girl…
I don't do that!"

[KENDRA & LUCY]
I could be his girlfriend!
[LUCY]
If I could get her out of the way
[KENDRA]
But now I just don't know what to say!
[KENDRA, LUCY & PATRICE]
I've got to get ready for him!

[ARCHIE]
I'm getting ready, it's true!
I'm getting ready to do
Something that makes her
Accept me at last![ARCHIE, EVAN, PATRICE, LUCY, KENDRA, MALCOLM & EDDIE]
I'm getting ready, all right!
Nothing can stop me tonight!

[BRETT]
Tonibalbalubalubalubalubalubalubaluba!

[ALL (except ARCHIE)]
I'm getting ready!
Ready!
Ready!

[ARCHIE, spoken]
Check me out!

[ALL]
Now!