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What are Facts?
What are facts, Jack? A game we have to play
Stumbling blocks, Jack, scattered in our way
By our foes, Jack, cowardly enemies
With whom facts, Jack, apparently agree

What are facts, Jack? It's always puzzled me
When I take power, Jack, there'll be some changes, see
When I've bagged, Jack, the presidency
Facts will knock, Jack, before they visit me

What are facts, Jack? I tell you day is night
 If you like, Jack, you can say I'm right
All that counts is to agree with what I say
Facts are crap, Jack, they get in the way

What are facts, Jack? What are they anyway?
Everything's interpretation anyway
Climate change, Jack, a point of view to spin
If you like, Jack, it isn't happening

Fact-check Jack, you haven't got a clue
You check facts, have you nothing real to do?
Check this out, Jack, power is all that counts
Power, power and power, power, power and power

What are facts, Jack, strap them to the bed
Wave a stun prod around their pretty heads
Facts shrink fast before a taser or a gun
Facts are cowards, Jack, just like anyone
Fact check Jack, let me make this clear
Facts are dead, Jack, starting next year
Me and Vlad, Jack, have a little plan
From Jan 1, Jack, facts are banned