“Denounce extravagance and Nomentanus with me:
Reason will prove spendthrifts are fools and madmen.
This man, inheriting a thousand talents from his dad,
Issued an edict: fishmongers, fruiterers, fowlers,
Perfumers, all Tuscan Street’s impious crew, poulterers
And parasites, the Velabrum, all of the market,
To come to him next morn. So? They arrived in crowds.
A pimp was spokesman: ‘All I have, all that these others
Have in the house, believe me is yours, send for it now
Or tomorrow.’ Hear what the reasonable young man said:
‘You, sleep in your boots in the snows of Lucania,
So I can eat boar: you, trawl the wintry sea for fish.
I’m idle, unworthy to own so much: so take it!
You take ten: you as much: you three times more, it’s you
From whom your wife comes running at the midnight call.’
Aesopus’ son took a splendid pearl from Metella’s
Ear-lobe, and dissolved it in vinegar, clearly
Intending to swallow a million straight: was that
Saner than hurling it into the flood, or the sewer?
Quintus Arrius’ sons, equally famous brothers,
Twins in waste and wickedness, loving depravity,
Used to eat highly-priced nightingales for lunch:
How should we list them? With chalk, sane, or with charcoal?”