John Kander
Minstrel March / Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey
[INTERLOCUTOR, spoken]
Gentlemen, be seated!

(singing)

Tonight’s a night of merriment
Of laughter, songs and jokes
I’m host and interlocutor
The master of these folks

(spoken)

Shake those tambourines, boys!

(singing)

I introduce two jolly pranksters
Each one as black as Sambo
But they’re men of many faces
Mr. Bones!
And Mr. Tambo!

[MR. BONES, spoken]
It’s showtime, boys, don’t be nervous!

[MR. TAMBO, spoken]
Just let those butterflies outta ‘dem cocoons!
[ALL]
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Look what we’ve got for you
Come on, gather ‘round
Hey, hey, hey, hey
You won’t be able
To keep your toes from tippy tapping
Over the ground
Sit back now
Relax and get comfortable
Sad thoughts out of sight
Hey, hey, say hello to the minstrel men
Here to entertain you tonight

[INTERLOCUTOR, spoken]
Mr. Tambo, how are you feeling tonight?

[MR. TAMBO, spoken]
I’se fine, but I think that lady in the front row is shocked!

[MR. BONES, spoken]
She just can’t believe what she’s seein’

[INTERLOCUTOR, spoken]
Mr. Tambo, she’s just not used to seeing you in those clothes
[MR. TAMBO, spoken]
And I ain’t used to seeing her in hers!

[MR. BONES]
Hey, hey, I play all kinds of characters
Tambo, he does do

[MR. TAMBO, spoken]
I do!
(singing)
Mean men

[MR. BONES]
Keen men

[BOTH]
White men’s our specialty
Even dose who knows
Don’ always knows who’s who

[MR. TAMBO]
Sing along

[MR. BONES]
Or tell us a joke
[BOTH]
If you want to, that’s alright

[ALL]
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Join in the merriment
Everyone’s a minstrel tonight

[MR. BONES, spoken]
Mr. Tambo, are you ready to have a good time?

[MR. TAMBO, spoken]
Indeed! Let’s have all the men lean over and kiss the ladies in front

[MR. BONES, spoken]
And all the men in front kiss the ladies behind!

[ALL]
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Kick up a noisy fuss
Play with us a while
Hey, hey, hey, hey
If you’re a gloomy Gus
We’ll erase that sour face
And teach you to smile
Old songs, new songs
Brassy and bluesy songs
That is what you’ll hear
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Nothing but joy and light
Ev’ry time the minstrels appear

[MR. BONES, spoken]
Mr. Interlocutor, what story are we going to tell tonight?

[INTERLOCUTOR, spoken]
We’re going to tell the story of the Scottsboro Boys!

[MR. BONES, spoken]
Oh, dats a funny story!

[ALL]
Come
And watch them sing and dance
Come
And share their tears and joys
Come
This is your final chance
To meet the Scottsboro Boys

[INTERLOCUTOR, spoken]
That’s right, we’re telling your story boys, just like we always do!

[HAYWOOD, spoken]
Mr. Interlocutor, this time can we tell it like it really happened? This time can we tell the truth?

[INTERLOCUTOR, spoken]
Of course, Haywood! Have you ever told the truth before, Mr. Tambo?

[MR. TAMBO, spoken]
Is that what we’re doing?

[INTERLOCUTOR, spoken]
Yes

[MR. TAMBO, spoken]
No, I’ve never done this before

[ALL]
Hey, hey, hey, hey (Come)
Look what we’ve got for you (And watch them)
Come and gather ‘round (Sing and dance)
Hey, hey, hey, hey (Come)
You won’t be able to (And share their)
Keep your toes from tippy tapping (Tears and joys)
Over the ground
Sit down now (Come)
Relax and get comfortable (This is your final chance)
Sad thoughts out of sight (Your final chance)
They (to) say hello to the minstrel men
Here to entertain you tonight (To meet the Scottsboro Boys)
To meet the Scottsboro Boys (Tonight’s a night)
To meet the Scottsboro Boys (Of laughter and jokes)
To meet the Scottsboro Boys (Songs and merriment and jokes)
Everyone’s a minstrel to—

[MR. TAMBO & MR. BONES]
Wheel about, turn about and do just so
Every time dey wheel about, dey jump Jim Crow!

[ALL]
Everyone’s a minstrel tonight!