[Verse 1]
This is the awards for industry and free enterprise
So let me sit you down and tell you, how I won first prize
I took on your free enterprise and your pretty little shops
I walked in with empty bags and walked out with the lot

[Chorus]
So I've come for my award, I've come for my award
I thought I'd come in person, that's the least I can afford
Let hands be shook, champagne poured
Sentence ignored, yes, I've come for my award

[Verse 2]
This is the awards for industry and free enterprise
Anyone wants a gold watch in a ladies' size
There's a few more 'round the back, I stole them from your shop
We've got no more in silver, that's all that you'd got

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
I chatted with your guards and winked at roving eye
A thousand hidden cameras were searching 'cross the sky
But they didn't see me pinch them from underneath their eyes...

[Chorus]
Jesus was my greatest accomplice
Jesus was my greatest accomplice
Jesus was my greatest accomplice
Yes, I've come for my award

[Outro]
Hairdryer, overcoat, telly, dot-to-dot
Video, compact disc, there's nothing we forgot
Whilst I was busy smiling my father got the lot
I've come for my award...