Stephen Flaherty
Crime of the Century
[JUDGE, spoken]
And now, testifying for the defense, Miss Evelyn Nesbit. 

[EVELYN NESBIT]
Hello, gentlemen... whee!

[GIRLS]
La la, la la
La la, la la la

[EVELYN NESBIT]
Whee!

[GIRLS]
La la, la la
La la, la la la

[EVELYN NESBIT]
Your honor
I was once the lady friend of Stanford White

[GIRLS]
He's the famous architect

[EVELYN NESBIT]
Yes, that's right
He put me on a velvet swing
And made me wear, well
Hardly anything
Ruined at the age of fifteen
Your honor
Then I went and married Mr. Harry Thaw
[EVELYN NESBIT & GIRLS]
Eccentric millionaire

[GIRLS]
Oh! Oh!

[EVELYN NESBIT]
Harry's a jealous man

[GIRLS]
Bang! Bang!

[EVELYN NESBIT]
Ooh, that was the end of Stan

[GIRLS]
Boo hoo!

[EVELYN NESBIT]
Your honor, be fair
My Harry went crazy, I swear

[GIRLS]
La la
La la la
[ENSEMBLE & EVELYN NESBIT]
Now it's the
Crime of the century
Crime of the century
Giving the world a thrill

[EVELYN]
Harry's in trouble
And Stanny's in heaven
And Evelyn is in Vaudeville

[ENSEMBLE & EVELYN NESBIT]
The crime of the century
Crime of the century
All for a youthful fling
Fortune, fame
And a ruined name

[EVELYN NESBIT]
And now I'm the girl on the swing
Whee!

[YOUNGER BROTHER, spoken]
Mother's Younger Brother was in love with Evelyn Nesbit. From his regular seat in the front row of the second balcony, he would lean far over the railing, hoping his goddess would notice him. One night he almost fell. Evelyn caught sight of him and smiled. Life was suddenly wonderful and full of delicious possibilities. 

[GIRLS]
Oh! Oh!
[EVELYN NESBIT]
Harry must not be hung

[GIRLS]
Bang! Bang!

[JUDGE]
Let's have that verdict sung

[GIRLS]
Boo hoo!

[JURY FOREMAN]
Your honor we find
That Harry's not guilty

[EVELYN NESBIT]
My Harry's not guilty

[ENSEMBLE]
'Cause Harry is out of his mind
And it's the crime of the century
Crime of the century
Making the world go "whee"
Harry's in trouble
And Stanny's in heaven

[EVELYN NESBIT]
And Evelyn gets publicity

[ENSEMBLE]
The crime of the century
Crime of the century
Not such an awful thing

[EVELYN NESBIT]
Stanny's killed
But my mother's thrilled
'Cause now I'm the girl on the—

[ENSEMBLE]
Now she's the girl on the—

[EVELYN NESBIT]
Now I'm the girl—

[ENSEMBLE & EVELYN NESBIT]
On the swing!

[EVELYN NESBIT]
Whee!