[Verse 1: Michael Crawford]
I'm right all the time so just refrain
Disobedience and its ingredients I will just not entertain
Don't answer me back and we'll be fine
The last word is mine

So go on and do as you're told Mary, at once

[Verse 2: Fiona Fullerton]
I can't be Mary
Cause Mary is dumpy, why Mary is fat
Mary's got freckles and sings like a cat
I'm not Mary

[Verse 3: Michael Crawford]
Don't be stupid, of course you are
If I say you're Mary, then you're Mary

You don't make me budge, my word is law
Time's diminishing, we must be finishing
You are a pest and a bore
Be off with you child, go sulk and pine
The last word is minе

So go on and fetch my gloves and fan Mabel, at oncе
[Verse 4: Fiona Fullerton]
I can't be Mabel
Cause Mabel is skinny, she looks like a bean
Mabel is stingy, she's ever so mean
I'm not Mabel

[Verse 5: Michael Crawford]
If I say you are Mabel, then you are Mabel
You won't ever learn that I am right
You're unteachable, your brain's unreachable
In fact you're not very bright
I'll tell you once more, then I'll resign
The last word is mine