[Verse 1]
I'm going back to church tonight
Just like back when I was eight
But I don't mean to pray
I'm going to nick a collection plate

[Chorus]
I've got nothing against church
Or any people who go there
And show their plain ignorance
And don't understand
A congregation at weekends won't change their behaviour
So many people are weak
And have to seek answers from pedlars of hope
I should know, I used to go there myself
That's until the day I became anti-pope

[Verse 2]
It's gonna be fun tonight
Spreading news around the town
That the vicars are transvestites
With a fetish for robes and gowns

[Chorus]
I've got nothing against church
Or any people who go there
And show their plain ignorance
And don't understand
A congregation at weekends won't change their behaviour
So many people are weak
And have to seek answers from pedlars of hope
I should know, I used to go there myself
That's until the day I became anti-pope
[Instrumental Break]

[Verse 3]
Religion doesn't mean a thing
It's just another way of being right wing
I think sex films are okay
I don't dig that pope, no way

[Chorus]
I've got nothing against church
Or any people who go there
And show their plain ignorance
And don't understand
A congregation at weekends won't change their behaviour
So many people are weak
And have to seek answers from pedlars of hope
I should know, I used to go there myself
That's until the day I became anti-pope