Why do I feel so empty?
Bored, unfulfilled, like something is missing
Like I want something more
Like theres this giant, bottomless, infinite
Hole inside me
So I try to fill it with all kinds of junk to make it go away
But these don't work, they give me a quick high
But it doesn’t last, leaving me frustrated, addicted, and wanting more
So I think, maybe its me - maybe i'm the problem
I need to be bigger, better, smarter, funnier, better looking
So I build myself up on the outside
Into some person that I don’t even know, that I don’t even like
And on the inside, I beat myself down, sometimes severely
And I feel more empty
Then I think: Maybe If I get my shit together
And have the perfect job, with the perfect life, and the perfect money
And all the perfect shiny things I've ever wanted
That will fill the hole
So I work, and I work, and I work, and I work
But these things never work out the way we want
And now I got a deal with dead dreams
And feeling like a failure
And even if they do work out, And I make it to the top
And get all the things I always thought would make me happy
When I get there I look around and I say, "Now what?"
Something's still missing
Time passes, the emptiness has been sitting
Festering, fermenting, farting, becoming toxic
And it changes me, making me, bitter, critical
And self-centered
And I blame everyone and everything around me for not fulfilling me
And I go from job to job, relationship to
Relationship, place to place
Leaving a real path of cheeriness along the way
Ultimately, Im tired, I'm done searching
I just don’t care
And I give up trying to solve the mystery of the hole
And just deal with it
I'm perfectly fine going back to stringing together enough
Distractions and stimulations to get me through
Keeping me MODERATELY SATISFIED until the day I die
Of course, on the outside
No one would ever know
Everything appears to be going exactly how I wanted it to go
Exactly how I planned it to go
A big success, the perfect facade
But on the inside, I'm all alone, and I groan