[Intro]
Okay, here's a
A commercial I wrote for some pay television people
For a little money
"Talking Pay T.V."
I guess they're going to play over in Denver and Milwaukee
[?] Denver

[Verse 1]
Walkin' down to Denver town
I watched the western sun go down
Thought that I would stop a while
Switch around my TV dial
Got some free TV
Only price was a little boredom

[Verse 2]
Well, I'm not sure about my taste
But it seemed that TV land was a waste
I saw thirty Westerns, thirty private eyes
Thirty doctors operated before my eyes
None of the operations was successful, though
It's hard to operate with so much violence around

[Verse 3]
Well, every few minutes they'd take a break
For a profound message on a stomach ache
They sold cures for dandruff, milk from the farm
Perfume for my underarms
I've had enough
I'm stickin' to greasy kid stuff
[Verse 4]
Well, the blood and gore was upon the floor
And I couldn't hardly stand no more
So I walked outside to get some air
A theater owner was standing there
Carryin' a picket sign
Said Pay TV was un-American

[Verse 5]
He said "I'm against that Pay TV
I've much rather have people pay me"
A dollar for parking, two for the show
Three for the baby sitter, there you go!
Get to see a wide-screen spectacular
Hercules meets Godzilla
Audience meets nausea

[Verse 6]
Well, Pay TV is fine to see
You get much better quality
Broadway shows, heavyweight fights
First-run movies every night
Viewers of Denver, unite!
You have nothing to lose but commercials

[Verse 7]
Well, people are afraid of something new
They laughed at planes before they flew
You know, you only get just what you buy
So give that Pay TV a try
Remember: families that pay together stay together