You know Hitler and Caesar and Agnew and Nixon
Stalin and Lenin and David the Klansman
But do you recall
The most famous politician of all?

Teddy the red-nosed senator
Had a very shiny car
And if you ever saw it
You were probably near a bar

All of the other senators
Wondered how he got his dames
They thought he drank too many
To play in any bedroom games

Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say
"Teddy with your nose so red
Won't you help me guide my sled?"

That's how the police found them
Wrapped around a maple tree
Teddy the red-nosed senator
He's a drunken S.O.B

He's a drunken S.O.B