[Intro: Richard Simmons]
A-ha! Put on your seatbelts, everybody! Put on your food belts!
Ding dongs (bonbons)
Cheese logs (croutons)
Cupcakes (punch bowl)
Cheers!

Oh no, it's not that time of year again! No, it can't be! It can't be, tell me, pinch me! Tell me it's not here!

[Chorus]
It's the most fattening time of the year
With that pumpkin pie filling
And everyone swilling down eggnog and beer
It's the most fattening time of the year

[Verse 1]
It's the lip smackingest season of all
While your shopping, you're cheating
Impulsively eating that junk at the mall
It's the heav-heaviest season of all

[Pre-Chorus 1]
There'll be turkeys for basting
And stuffing for tasting
And giblets and gravy will flow
There'll be cookies that mom baked
And leftover fruit cake
From a Christmas a long time ago
[Chorus]
It's the scale flattening time of the year
While your diet you're blowing
There's calories going straight down to your rear
It's the scale flattening time of the year

[Bridge: Richard Simmons]
Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute, I know there's food everywhere, eggnog flowing out of fountains. It's like one big Bar Mitzvah. But listen, you don't have to do that. You could have small portions, and make ribbons instead of fudge! You can do it. Please try!

[Pre-Chorus 2]
There'll be after meal dosing
And arteries closing
Cholesterol levels will grow
It's too cold to go jogging
To brisk for tobogganing
So pass me a hot buttered roll
(Don't you dare touch that roll. I'm watching!)

[Chorus]
It's the most fattening time of the year
All those gingerbread shingles and
Chocolate Kris Kringles' will tremble in fear
It's the most fattening time
It's the belt loosening time
It's the most fattening time of the year
Ding dong ([?])
Every year
[Outro: Richard Simmons]
I'm watching!