Lately all the songs I write
Are slow and on the mellow side

I used to stand on MTV
But now they bring a chair for me

Let me get a tube of ointment
Let's rub my achy joints
And turn my hearing aid loud
And throw Depends into the crowd

This must be how it feels
This must be how it feels
To get old

If I try to play hard rock
It'd probably put me into shock

Don't expect no big drum fills
The drummer's lost his motor skills

So let's get to the point
I'm as mellow as the Doobies

And when I head to the commode
I just pray that I can go
And this must be how it feels
To be old