Dear Penis
I don't think I like you anymore
You used to watch me shave
Now all you do is stare at the floor
Oh dear Penis
I don't like you anymore

It used to be you and me
A paper towel, and a dirty magazine
That's all we needed to get by
Now it seems things have changed
I think that you're the one to blame
Dear Penis
I don't like you anymore

Now he sings

Dear Rodney
I don't think I like you anymore
'Cause when you get to drinkin'
You put me places I've never been before
Dear Rodney
I dont like you anymore

Why can't we just get a grip
On our man to hand relationship
Come to terms with truly how we feel
If we put our heads together
We'd just stay home forever
Dear Penis
I think I like you after all
Oh and Rodney
While yer shavin'
Shave my balls