Noël Coward
Mad Dogs and Englishmen
In tropical climes there are certain times of day
When all the citizens retire
To take their clothes off and perspire
It's one of those rules the greatest fools obey
Because the sun is far too sultry
And one must avoid its ultry-violet ray

The natives grieve when the white men leave their huts
Because they're obviously, definitely nuts!

Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun
The Japanese don't care to
The Chinese wouldn't dare to
Hindus and Argentines sleep firmly from twelve 'til one
But Englishmen detest a siesta

In the Philippines they have lovely screens
To protect you from the glare
In the Malay States there are hats like plates
Which the Britishers won't wear
At twelve noon the natives swoon
And no further work is done
But mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun

It's such a surprise
For the Eastern eyes to see
That though the English are effete
They're quite impervious to heat
When the white man rides
Every native hides in glee
Because the simple creatures hope he will impale his sola topee
On a tree
It seems such a shame
When the English claim the Earth
That they give rise to such hilarity and mirth

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho
He-he-he-he-he-he-he
Hm-hm-hm-hm-hm

Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun
The toughest Burmese bandit can never understand it
In Rangoon, the heat of noon
Is just what the natives shun
They put their Scotch or rye down and lie down

In a jungle town where the sun beats down
To the rage of man and beast
The English garb of the English sahib
Merely gets a bit more creased
In Bangkok at twelve o'clock
They foam at the mouth and run
But mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun

Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun
The smallest Malay rabbit deplores this foolish habit
In Hong Kong they strike a gong
And fire off a Noonday Gun
To reprimand each inmate who's in late
In the mangrove swamps where the python romps
There is peace from twelve to two
Even caribous lie around and snooze
For there's nothing else to do
In Bengal to move at all
Is seldom if ever done
But mad dogs and Englishmen go
Out in the midday
Out in the midday
Out in the midday
Out in the midday
Out in the midday
Out in the midday
Out in the midday sun