No sooner were they bound in marriage
When they realized their mistake
And as they got into the carriage
Each pondered what steps to take
The honeymoon was merely dreary
And by the time that it was through
Their brains were overwrought and weary
Contemplating what to do
They reached their villa numb with loathing
As it was fading into night
They cast aside their outer clothing
And parted mutely for the night
At dawn with scissors she came creeping
Into his room and deftly sheared
While he lay strenuously sleeping
Uneven notches in his beard
Then after they had been wedded
A dozen years they paused aghast
The possibility they had dreaded
Had occurred, occurred at last
They had exhausted all the other
Revenges for existing wrongs
So they fell on one another
Him with hammers, her with tongs
A week went by, a tradesman calling
Peered in and gave a sickened gulp
For on the carpet they were sprawling
A single horrid heap of pulp