I'm through with love hangovers
It's best that I stay sober
No rolling in the clover
No Gretna Green to Dover
No honeymoon in Paris
I only feel embarrassed

For the cool cats
The tom kittens
Both smitten by the love songs
That he's written
Caught in the sights
Of a deadly sniper
The magic piper of love
The magic piper of love
Of love, of love

My girlfriend, she got blotto
Half cut in Santa's grotto
It turns out he's a dirty old man
The last place that I want to be
Is sat up on his Christmas tree
While playing his games of
Catch as catch can

'Cause he's a sweet talker
A silent stalker
All the savvy of a street walker
More deadly than a horned viper
The magic piper of love
The magic piper of love
Of love, of love
He's a heart breaker
A mover and a shaker
The magic piper of love

It's kinda hard to swallow
You know you've gotta follow
The magic piper of love

'Cause he's a city slicker
An expert politicker
The magic piper of love

Of love, of love
Of love, of love
Of love, of love